Another Emmys has come and gone. Seth Meyers's first time as host moved along at an efficient clip, but the only real standout bit came not from Meyers, but from Billy Eichner. The big musical number? Again, not Meyers — that one went to Weird Al Yankovic. And the biggest laugh of the night was the soap-opera kiss between Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Bryan Cranston. If he hosts again, here's hoping Meyers adds in a little something special for himself. But there was more to the show than the host, of course. Here were the other highs and lows of the ceremony.
Low: So much goddamn diet talk on the red carpet. Most of the blame goes to E!, but also to society. What if next time, no one was asked about her diet? Her post-pregnancy weight loss? How skinny she is? Her body? Jeez Louise. Ask women about acting. That's why they're there!
High: "Best onscreen orgasm in a Civil War reenactment."
Low: Jimmy Kimmel riffing. It was funny, sure, but that's more of a host job — and he had his chance. It just seemed like whipping up a little something at someone else's dinner party.
High: Weird Al's theme songs. The sound design was a little wonky — Weird Al didn't quite sound big enough — but the jokes about quivering lips on Scandal were more than worth it.
High: Emmy edition of Billy on the Street. Especially when Billy accosted a woman and said, "You're a lesbian, do you watch Orange Is the New Black?" "I do, but I'm not a lesbian," the woman cheerfully replied. Everyone gets a dollar.
Low: Modern Family. No. Come on.
High: Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Bryan Cranston kissing. They planted the seed a few segments earlier, with JLD "forgetting" Cranston was on Seinfeld. Good thing she won — the payoff came with a major smooch.
Low: So many industry jokes. None of the rest of us care about your agents.
High: Woody Harrelson's McConaughey impression. The rest of their bit sort of dragged, but it's fun to see two stars ragging on each other. (Extra high for Harrelson acknowledging True Detective's recent plagiarism scuttlebutt.)
Low: Gwen Stefani not knowing how to pronounce "The Colbert Report." Lemons into lemonade style, though, Colbert whispering his speech to Jimmy Fallon was terrific.
Low: Sofia Vergara spinning on a pedestal. Come to Hollywood, where you, too, can be objectified, no matter how many Emmys your show is nominated for — you're just here to be a body. Ugh, this shit has got to stop.
High: I mean, low, certainly, but Billy Crystal's speech about Robin Williams was personal, moving, and elegantly crafted. "Robin Williams. What a concept." Oof.
High: A final hurrah for Breaking Bad. Best drama, lead actor, supporting actor, supporting actress, and writing — not too shabby.
High: Sarah Silverman. Particularly on the red carpet, but her "molecules hurtling through space" speech was solid, too.
Low: Orange Is the New Black went home empty-handed. That cannot possibly be right. (Uzo Aduba won a guest-actress award at the Creative Arts Emmys, though.)
Low: Those weird chimes that played during people's walk-to-the-stage music. Those chimes were hideous, like a ring tone gone evil. My ears will never be free of the ghost of those chimes.
Most Viewed Stories
Erykah Badu’s Soulful Remix of Drake’s ‘Hotline Bling’ Has Instructions on When and How to Call Her
Tori Spelling Uses the Excuse of a Lie-Detector Test to Basically Brag About Banging Two Guys on Beverly Hills, 90210
What’s New on Netflix: October 2015
Stephen Colbert Gave a Searing Monologue on Guns, Trump, and ‘Honest Insanity’
Tom Hiddleston Does His Robert De Niro Impression for Robert De Niro
The Martian Soars
What You Need to Know Going Into Homeland Season 5
Sorry, Matt Damon, the Plan to Rescue Someone From Mars Hasn’t Even Been Created Yet
See How Well the Cast of Wet Hot American Summer Has Aged
Janet Jackson Embraces Michael’s Influence on Unbreakable, Her Best Album in 15 Years
Latest News from VultureJunot Díaz Can’t Stand Trump’s Immigration Talk
“America is as addicted to immigrants as it is addicted to cocaine; you withdraw immigrants from this country, America would just be a shivery, shitting-itself wreck.”Don DeLillo on Gun Violence, New York Life, and Writing
The acclaimed writer discussed violence in real life as well as his work.Toni Morrison Has Some Words for the New York Times
The iconic novelist takes issue with what she calls the media's "manipulation" of words and language.11 Things We Learned at the New Yorker Festival’s Broad City Panel
The stars of Broad City are just like us: They think New York is hard, get nervous around Maggie Gyllenhaal, and smoke "pussy weed."Haim Wants to Bring Back Lilith Fair
Imagine a music festival where Taylor Swift, Lorde, Florence and the Machine, Savages, and Chvrches all performed...Stephen Colbert Gave a Searing Monologue on Guns, Trump, and ‘Honest Insanity’
"One of the definitions of insanity is changing nothing and pretending something will change."Jafar Panahi’s Taxi Is a Strange, Wonderful Film
Panahi may be a terrible driver, but he's become a world-class chronicler.Seth Rogen Wants to Circumcise James Franco (For Charity)
The proposed snipping would benefit the fourth annual Hilarity for Charity.Gugu Mbatha-Raw Added to the Neverending List of Potential Star Wars: Episode VIII Actresses
This is turning into Thunderdome.Taika Waititi Might Direct Thor: Ragnarok, Making Him Marvel’s First Nonwhite Director
He previously directed Flight of the Conchords.
A cause does not a movie make.Marvel is Developing a Damage Control Sitcom
They're the crew that cleans up after superheroes have destroyed the city.Sorry, Matt Damon, the Plan to Rescue Someone From Mars Hasn’t Even Been Created Yet
Could the thrilling rescue in The Martian happen in real life?Tori Spelling Uses the Excuse of a Lie-Detector Test to Basically Brag About Banging Two Guys on Beverly Hills, 90210
On an upcoming episode of Lifetime's Celebrity Lie Detector.Oscar Futures: Does The Martian Have a Real Shot at Best Picture?
Who's up? Who's down?Tom Hiddleston Does His Robert De Niro Impression for Robert De Niro
"May I call you Bob?"Everything We Know About the New Ghostbusters
Including Channing Tatum's Ghostbusters 4 fantasy and the status of slime 2.0.Bill Withers’s Distinctly American Music Lives On, Perhaps More Than Ever, at Carnegie Hall
The reclusive singer-songwriter abruptly exited the spotlight in the 1980s, but his legacy continues to flourish, particularly this year.A Fantastic Opening for National Sawdust
"Directed not to one constituency but many."Cannon Films: A 10-Part Appreciation of the Studio That Revolutionized ‘So Bad, It’s Good’ Movies
What other studio was crazy enough to deem Chuck Norris its leading man, and bet big on a Stallone arm-wrestling flick?