Friends Countdown: F, Marry, Kill

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There comes a time in all fandoms when the theorists and 'shippers lay down their swords and turn their attention to the most important conversational game of our time. It's time for Friends: F, Marry, Kill.

For the guys, it's extremely easy: Fuck Joey, marry Chandler, kill Ross. It is the only answer. For the women, it's a little harder to decide whom to live with. Monica's uptight, sure, but your house would be so clean. And she's a chef! Phoebe's probably easier to get along with, but if you live with someone who plays the guitar, you're gonna be hearing a lot of guitar. Rachel would have higher-end furnishings, presumably, but other than finding things in catalogues you might like (per Monica's roommate assessment), she seems unlikely to do her share of household maintenance. Also, she probably has bad credit. This breaks my heart a little, but ... fuck Rachel, marry Monica, kill Phoebe.

Ideally, though, keep Phoebe around and just kill Ross twice.

Paper! Snow! A ghost! We're counting down with Friends stories all month. See what you missed here.