Beauty and the Beast Should Be All Harry Potter People

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Emma Watson is going to play Belle in the upcoming live-action version of Beauty and the Beast. That seems lovely, no? She seems extremely capable of playing Belle, since she was great as Hermione, and Hermione and Belle have a lot in common. But there’s no need to stop there: We can populate the entire Beauty and the Beast cast with former Harry Potter folk.

Beast, as played by Neville Longbottom

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Photo: Disney and Warner Bros

Neville kind of gets the short shrift in HP, but he grew up hot and deserved better. Beast it is!

Gaston is sort of a Viktor Krum

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Nothing against Viktor, but no one at Hogwarts seems like they’d be especially good at expectorating.

Snape could bring a little something to Lumière

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Ideally, only Jerry Orbach would ever be Lumière. But that’s not how life works, so let’s Snape it up. We only ever see his mean streak, really, but loosened-up, fun-loving Snape is a Snape we can believe in.

Mrs. Potts could be Professor McGonagall

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She’s wise! Sing me a song, Professor McGonagall!

Chip could be made more pathetic if portrayed by Dobby

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He dies, but he comes back to life as an innocent yet still vaguely indentured teacup.

Maurice is Hagrid

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Doofy, lovable, kinda gets you into scrapes.

Footstool, as brought to you by Ron

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RON IS SUCH A FOOTSTOOL.

The Enchanted Mirror is just the Mirror of Erised

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See your future and your dead family, all in one magical mirror.

The petals can fall off the Sorting Hat

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The glass-dome thing itself is a Hufflepuff.

The only character more persnickety than Cogsworth is Percy

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Rules rules rules.

Let Wardrobe and Mrs. Weasley take care of you.

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Okay.

Monsieur D’Arque is already Voldemort

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That one is easy.

LeFou, Crabble, tomayto, tomahto.

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That one is easy, too.

Phillipe is reincarnated Hedwig

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Too pure for this world, Hedwig.

Draco Malfoy is Fifi the feather duster.

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He’s slender, he’s naughty, and that shaggy hair is pretty feathery.

Harry doesn’t get to be anybody because he has enough already. Sorry, Harry!

An All-Potter Cast for Beauty and the Beast