Beauty and the Beast Should Be All Harry Potter People

By

Emma Watson is going to play Belle in the upcoming live-action version of Beauty and the Beast. That seems lovely, no? She seems extremely capable of playing Belle, since she was great as Hermione, and Hermione and Belle have a lot in common. But there's no need to stop there: We can populate the entire Beauty and the Beast cast with former Harry Potter folk.

Beast, as played by Neville Longbottom

Photo: Disney and Warner Bros

Neville kind of gets the short shrift in HP, but he grew up hot and deserved better. Beast it is!

Gaston is sort of a Viktor Krum

Nothing against Viktor, but no one at Hogwarts seems like they'd be especially good at expectorating.

Snape could bring a little something to Lumière

Ideally, only Jerry Orbach would ever be Lumière. But that's not how life works, so let's Snape it up. We only ever see his mean streak, really, but loosened-up, fun-loving Snape is a Snape we can believe in.

Mrs. Potts could be Professor McGonagall

She's wise! Sing me a song, Professor McGonagall!

Chip could be made more pathetic if portrayed by Dobby

He dies, but he comes back to life as an innocent yet still vaguely indentured teacup.

Maurice is Hagrid

Doofy, lovable, kinda gets you into scrapes.

Footstool, as brought to you by Ron

RON IS SUCH A FOOTSTOOL.

The Enchanted Mirror is just the Mirror of Erised

See your future and your dead family, all in one magical mirror.

The petals can fall off the Sorting Hat

The glass-dome thing itself is a Hufflepuff.

The only character more persnickety than Cogsworth is Percy

Rules rules rules.

Let Wardrobe and Mrs. Weasley take care of you.

Okay.

Monsieur D'Arque is already Voldemort

That one is easy.

LeFou, Crabble, tomayto, tomahto.

That one is easy, too.

Phillipe is reincarnated Hedwig

Too pure for this world, Hedwig.

Draco Malfoy is Fifi the feather duster.

He's slender, he's naughty, and that shaggy hair is pretty feathery.

Harry doesn't get to be anybody because he has enough already. Sorry, Harry!