If you didn't watch last night's Bachelor finale, spoilers follow, so reconsider reading the next sentence. If you don't care and just want to know already, then your answer is ... Whitney Bischoff, the 29-year-old fertility nurse from Chicago who is now officially stoked silly about small-town Iowa. Ultimately, 33-year-old Prince Farming, a.k.a. Chris Soules, couldn't pick the other final contender, Becca Tilley, because she wasn't ready to commit, and a long-distance relationship was probably a reality. For a second, it actually seemed like stone-faced Soules wasn't going to pick anybody, but of course he did, and here — thanks to Us — are all the nerves and trembling voices. "It feels so perfect," Soules said, and then giggles, tears, roses, and a make-out session on the window ledge of his massive red barn ensued.
But as another Bachelor ends, so must another Bachelorette begin. Next season will have a twist, according to ABC, as there will be two contestants — Britt and Kaitlyn — and 25 men, who will apparently have the final say. (Doesn't really make sense to us, either.) Anyway, back to this: