Here Are the Best Answers From Channing Tatum’s AMA

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Channing Tatum. Photo: Jason Merritt/2015 Getty Images

Channing Tatum hopped on Reddit earlier today for his first-ever AMA session, and, yes, the experience was as glorious as (if not more than) the "haha" email that leaked at the end of last year in the Sony hacking scandal. To promote Magic Mike XXL, as well as the Runa Foundation, Tatum answered fans' questions about his favorite sandwich, his penis, and Danny DeVito. He also gave some Redditors love advice and even let someone troll him. The humanity. He did some trolling, too, though, don't worry. It was all fun (understatement).

Anyway, without further ado, here are some of the best gems. Welcome to the Channing Show (no, not that one):

How long did the notorious "haha" email take to write?

I'm sure exactly how long. I hit the h and a for a long time before I realized I could copy and paste. I'm not the most tech savvy person around but it did become a lot easier and faster.

Does he ever get lost looking into co-star Matt Bomer's eyes?

absofuckinglutely. no matter if you're a man, woman, cat, hamster, you will get lost in matt bomer's eyes. I don't know what they are made of outside of dreams and rainbows and amazingness but it truly doesn't matter. And when he sings. It's like god gave with both hands and then grew a third hand and graced him with more. he's crazy talented.

Here's the latest on Gambit:

we finally found someone that I really do believe wants to make Gambit, it will be the second standalone character. And i just really think because Gambit is not the most popular or the biggest hero, I think there's a really unique opportunity. Marvel's done a lot of great movies that have made a ridiculous amount of money, and it's always good to figure how to change the form.

How did he get into dancing?

To be completely honest, clubbing. i straight learned how to dance in the club. I don't know how to describe it any other way. I never took a dance class or anything, when i was really really young i remember going to the theater with my mom and my sister, so me and my mom sat in the theater away from my sister and her friends, it was Breakin' 1, and my mom said after the movie I started trying to do headstands. My mom said i mortified my sister. But i think I was always fascinated by physical things. But I can't tell you i had any training other than going out to Florida clubs and getting sweaty.

Will he do any full-frontal nudity in MMXXL?

haha "for a friend" I do not do full frontal but i can promise you when you're standing in front of a bunch of people in a very small thong it doesn't leave a lot to the imagination. Your "friend" should be happy.

Would he ever play James Bond (if offered the role)?

Oh that's tough. It would be a very hard turndown. But i don't know. There is a very strong strong voice inside that tells me James Bond probably should always be a true United Kingdomer. I'm all down for changing things completely but the true nature of 007 is i feel just very innately english, it shouldn't be an american putting on an english accent.

Will he be in X-Men: Apocalypse?

No ma'am, or sir. I definitely will not.

He pooped in a blizzard and was blown away:

I just went to Iceland and tried to do a small expedition across the glacier and we didn't make it. We had to be emergency evacuated as there was a white out blizzard which I got to take a poop in. It actually freezes before it hits the ground.

Who would he want a lap dance from?

I am not even joking about this. Kevin Nash. I've always wanted to know what it feels like to be tiny in his arms and thrown around.

Favorite TV show right now?

it's really hard to not want to be Joffrey on Game of Thrones. My favorite thing that I've seen yet wasn't on tv, it was on Youtube. It was called Kung Fury and it was the best thing I've seen in a long time.

His thoughts on Jonah Hill?

Jonah is one of those people who if you just sit back and just watch him you in no way shape or form can understand how he's doing what he's doing. He's the fastest most quickest wittiest person I've ever met. And I think people when they think of comedic actors they forget that they are people with a point of view and experiences and depth. And Jonah is one of the most sensitive and deep people i know. And that's why I think he can be a comedic actor and a deep actor asd well.

He played FMK with Ray Romano, Danny DeVito, and Gilbert Gottfried:

I'd fuck Danny Devito. ... I'd marry Ray Romano, because I think he has a pretty solid perspective on marriage. I don't know who would be the male or female, you figure it out. And I like Gilbert Gottfried but I wouldn't mind killing him.

He once bought beer with kisses (kind of):

Q: Hello Channing Tatum! This is something I've always wanted clarified since it happened...were you ever in Sea-Tac airport at the Chili's restaurant looking for a beer but IDless? I was the one working there who had to make the difficult decision as to whether we could serve you or not. It all ended with a picture of you giving each of us a peck on the cheek, myself included. It's still one of my favorite stories to tell so I hope I wasn't just duped by a very convincing look-alike.

A: That absolutely was me. Because I love Chili's. And no one believed me that i got into an airport without my id. I just wanted a beer and some chicken crisps, and i actually couldn't get either of them for a while, because i remember you guys didn't have chicken crisps either! what's a Chili's without chicken crisps?

This is what Channing does when he's having a rough day:

Oh man. I love Pinterest. Swear to god. Just to not think about all the shit I have to do or what's going wrong, I just go and look at Pinterest. Or flipboard.

If he could have one superpower, what would it be?

I wish that I could make anyone at any point just happen to be naked. Not for the reasons that everyone thinks. Because people get really nice when they get naked. Like okay, I can't be an asshole. People aren't assholes when they get naked (for the most part). They are thinking about what they look like. Shitty answer, I tried to do something funny and it didn't work.

He has a thing for Care Bears:

I was just given a bear for my 35th Birthday by a friend Joanne and it was a bear with a heart on it. The carebear cousins were my favorite. There was the lion and the fast rabbit. Those two were pretty awesome.

Favorite Disney character?

I like the broom from Fantasia.

What does his perfect sandwich look like?

k get ready: it's very complicated.

bread, white. peanut butter, not crunchy, creamy. grape jelly, double portion, more than you think should actually fit on a piece of white bread. bread. and then some cheetos shoved in there, and then you're good to go.

Obviously, he is buds with Chris Pratt:

The last picture I took on my phone I was going into a meeting and there was a tv on the wall playing CNN and they were talking about Jurassic World shattering box office openings so I sent that to my buddy Pratt. I'm just really proud of him, happy for him. It also said something about southeast Texas weather pressure.

That's what I was really trying to tell Pratt, to make sure he was aware of a pressure front coming in.

Someone asked him if he'd rather fight a Danny DeVito–size John Stamos or a John Stamos-size Danny DeVito.

Can i just fight a Danny devito sized Danny Devito because I think I could take him and I would be on top or I could just use him as a spinner as I'm assuming we're going to have sex after we fight if we're naked.

What does he call his penis?

Gilbert.

Boom. Catch the rest of it here.