What If a Demon Possessed the Cast of Full House? Lifetime Imagines.

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Bizarro Tanners. Photo: Scott Schafer/Lifetime

Just as we were about to call Lifetime "the network that brought you UnREAL," it had to go and remind us that it also makes very bad (campy?) unauthorized films. Lifetime's plans for its unauthorized Full House movie, appropriately titled The Unauthorized Full House Story, has its first cast photos, and — whew — they are rough. Warning: If you stare too long at Bizarro Uncle Jesse's eyes, he will crawl through the page and eat your soul.

For the full effect:

Jeepers. Photo: Scott Schafer/Lifetime

We're sorry:

No. Photo: Scott Schafer/Lifetime