An anonymous donor has offered a $1 million reward for any “credible information” that leads to the return of Dorothy’s ruby slippers, which she lifted off the carcass of the Wicked Witch of the East. The slippers were stolen from a museum in Minnesota ten years ago this August. This is not a satirical story — someone genuinely offered $1 million, the amount for which the shoes were insured, though the shoes may now be worth three times that amount, according to the Associated Press. The slippers, worn by Judy Garland in The Wizard of Oz, were one of four pairs known to still exist. As everyone knows, the ruby slippers won’t come off as long as the person wearing them is alive. So if you see the person who has them, just drop a house on ’em.