The dystopia imagined in Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! goes deeper than great whites raining down on all of humanity: The completion of SyFy’s trilogy, which airs at 9 p.m. tonight, puts Ann Coulter in the White House. We caught up with the rabble-rouser to talk about her time on set, how the film influenced her political thinking (and her new book), and whether she plans to be back for the inevitable Sharknado 4.
Take me through your character’s motivation.
It’s a very important role. I’m of course doing all of the heavy-lifting, with all of these international crises. Mark Cuban is president — modeling it after Joe Biden [if he were] commander-in-chief, is my guess — when suddenly … well, you can imagine what happens next.
I don’t know how to imagine. Does a lion attack you?
Yes! No, this is actually where my acting skills come in: There were no actual sharks, or models of sharks, used during filming. So we were all running from nothing.
Since it’s all CGI, are you concerned about how they’ll portray your death?
I don’t think I get eaten! I think the president gets eaten. There will be a Sharknado 4, so maybe I can be president. I did not film something of me being gobbled, that’s all I know. But I did have a body double, so they could have filmed her getting eaten.
What was your character’s name?
I’m trying to remember …
You really immersed yourself in the role.
Ha, yeah. I think it was “Anne Buck.”
And they say Hollywood is creatively bankrupt. John Adams has said of being vice-president that it is, “the most insignificant office that ever the invention of man contrived.” Now that you’ve played one, do you agree?
No, in my case I was issuing executive orders to build a fence to keep illegals out. I’m including sharks in the category of illegals.
What was your biggest fear after agreeing to this gig?
That I’d have to memorize lines. Luckily they’re really into ad-libbing. I shouldn’t say this, but I would have paid them to do this. It was hilarious.
How much DOES one get paid to film a Sharknado cameo?
About $28. Kidding, but this is not a big-budget production.
This franchise is famous for its cameos. Who did you meet on set?
Lou Ferrigno played my bodyguard. And some huge ex-Laker [Derek Fischer] played my other bodyguard. He’s very handsome, and they’re both really tall. Even when they put me in three-inch heels, and I become eight feet tall, my bodyguards were still taller than I was. Also, Mark McGrath, from Sugar Ray — he was fantastic. And, of course, Ian … is it Ziering?
The one on 90210 without the sideburns.
Well, he is the big star and he’s adorable. Oh, and Mark Cuban.
Sarah Palin was rumored to be in the running for playing the president.
[Laughs.] I have better ideas for what we should do with the country, let’s put it that way.
Bo Derek plays Tara Reid’s mom and she’s also a noted republican: Did you guys get to compare policy notes?
No, I wish we had! Another famous right-winger, Jackie Collins, is in it. We have a million mutual friends, but I didn’t get to talk to her.
Any uncomfortable interactions with Hollywood’s liberal elite while you were there?
No, not at all. One thing I’ve noticed from my years doing Politically Incorrect, the big stars, no matter how left-wing they are — like, say, a Tim Robbins or a Dave Matthews — are always perfect gentlemen. It’s the wannabes and has-beens who I’m convinced had their agents tell them, “If you want to help your career, go on Politically Incorrect and be mean to Ann Coulter.”
Has seeing the horror that is meteorologically induced flying sharks forced you to rethink your climate-change skepticism?
It made me rethink how big the fence around the country needs to be.
