The Room Fan Trolls ‘Ask Amy’ Advice Column — That’s Life!

Anyway, how's your sex life? Photo: Chloe Productions

What would you do if everybody betrayed you and you were fed up with this world? If you're one devoted fan of The Room, you would write to Amy Dickinson's syndicated advice column in the persona of Tommy Wiseau's Johnny, looking for answers about how to deal with his cheating girlfriend. After all, it seems like she's the expert, right?

Dear AmyI have a serious problem with my future wife. She has not been faithful to me.

I recently overheard her talking to her friend about how she was unfaithful to me. When I confronted her, all that she said was that she couldn't talk right now. I feel like I have to record everything in my own house just to learn the truth.

To make things even more stressful is the fact that she recently told a couple of people that I hit her, but it's not true. I did not hit her. I'm not sure why she has been acting like this lately. She did just find out that her mother has breast cancer, and that might be playing a role in her behavior.

We still always find time to make love, so I don't know why she would go out seeking it from someone else. I just can't believe she would do this to me. I love her so much, she is my everything, and I don't know that I could go on without her. She is tearing me apart.

What should I do? — Devastated

Fortunately, Amy didn't keep her stupid comments in her pocket: She told Devastated to cancel the wedding, break up with his future wife, and "[s]eek the support of close friends, family, and a professional counselor to help you deal with this loss and change." What a story!