Dwayne Johnson Will Play ... Somebody in a Movie Based on Disney’s Cheesy Jungle Cruise Ride

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Dwayne Johnson. Photo: Frank Trapper/Corbis

The Hollywood Reporter writes that Dwayne Johnson is set to star in an untitled Disney movie based on its Jungle Cruise safari ride — punny jokes likely included. (The last ride-to-film project Disney did in such a way was Pirates of the Caribbean.) Tom Hanks and Tim Allen were reportedly set as prior stars, because the on-again-off-again project has been marinating since at least 2004. After all that time, plot details are still unknown, but the film will be a period piece — which period is also unspecified, but THR hints it might be reminiscent of 1951's African Queen. John Requa and Glenn Ficarra (Focus) are working on a script that sounds like it has a lot of room to do virtually anything, so long as it involves Johnson, a boat, and animals. Will we get Tooth Fairy Dwayne? San Andreas Dwayne? A little bit of both? Will the movie be like Jurassic Park, sans dinosaurs? Or Apocalypse Now, sans war? Or will it be more like Hi, I'm Indiana Jones's Friend Who Is Not Indiana Jones, and I Am on a Boat for the Day, Coincidentally to Save the Day? That's all unfortunately unclear at the moment.

But, for the time being, it's fun to imagine the Rock telling these banana-split jokes: