Noted Babe Nicholas Hoult to Play Noted Non-Babe J.D. Salinger

If Zooey Deschanel isn't cast in this somewhere ... Photo: Getty Images, Corbis

If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know about the upcoming J.D. Salinger biopic is who's starring in it, and what kind of lousy title they gave it, and if anyone you've heard of is occupied with it, and all that Hollywood Reporter kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.

Just kidding — the answers to those questions, respectively, are: Nicholas Hoult, Rebel in the Rye, and Empire's Danny Strong, who is writing and directing a script based on Kenneth Slawenski's 2011 Salinger biography. And that's why you don't tell anybody anything.