The ageless Rob Lowe returns to television Tuesday night for the series premiere of Fox’s energetic and winking new show The Grinder, where he plays an actor who wants to become a lawyer because he’s played one on TV. Of course, the title has gotten a lot of people (okay, gays) wondering: Is this a thinly veiled reference to the location-based gay hookup app that changed the landscape of contemporary courtship as we know it? (The network has certainly been milking the idea by adding the tagline “There’s no one he can’t get off” onto the posters for its advertising campaign.) Vulture decided to take the opportunity to present our own meta-reality of Rob Lowe’s Grindr profiles spanning time and reality — from real-life Dad Rob Lowe to his character Chris Traeger on Parks and Recreation. Sup, bruh. Nice, um, abs.

Dad Rob Lowe

DL Daddy

Online 50 minutes ago

2,878 miles away

• 51 years old
• 5’ 11” 165 lbs
• White
• Toned
• Married

Grindr Tribes

Clean-cut, Daddy, Discreet

Looking For

Chat, Dates, Friends, Networking, Right Now

About

I’m a dad, but no dadbod here! Lol. 👍

Likes: skin-care, my kids, memoirs

Dislikes: the passage of time

Back

DL Daddy

Hey bro. Nice pics.

7:01 PM

Chris Traeger From Parks and Recreation

Chris

Online

734 miles away

• 46 years old
• 5’ 11” 155 lbs
• White
• Toned

Grindr Tribes

Clean-cut, Sports

Looking For

Dates, Friends, Networking

About

Hello reader! Thanks for visiting my profile! I work in government. I love harvest festivals, short 10-mile jogs, fiscal responsibility, carob cookies, and biking for charity!

Back

Chris

Wow. That is literally the biggest penis I have ever seen!

6:59 AM

Sam Seaborn From The West Wing

Princeton

Online 3 minutes ago

225 miles away

• 35 years old
• 5’ 11” 170 lbs
• White
• Toned

Grindr Tribes

Clean-cut, Geek

Looking For

Networking, Right now

About

Let’s walk and talk.

Back

Princeton

Ur not a prostitute, right??

9:23 PM

Billy Hicks From St. Elmo’s Fire

Hixx

Online

236 miles away

• 22 years old
• 5’ 11” 150 lbs
• White
• Slim

Grindr Tribes

Discreet, Twink

Looking For

Right now

About

Work at a gas station. Lemme fill up ur tank. ;)

Masc 4 masc

Back

Hixx

Hey

10:13 PM

Hey

1:25 AM

Brat Pack Rob Lowe

show off

Online 4 hours ago

1073 miles away

• 25 years old
• 5’ 11” 150 lbs
• White
• Slim

Looking For

Dates, Friends, Networking

About

Looking for videographers to film me and my buddies during our erotic adventures!

Back

show off

Heya. You know how to keep a secret and hold a camera?

2:48 AM