Sorry, But You’re Going to Talk About Justin Bieber’s Penis at Thanksgiving

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"Hi, Nana" Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

By the time you crack the wishbone, it will be too late. You will have already talked about Justin Bieber's penis with at least your mom by then. See, CBS announced today that Bieber will be performing at their broadcast of the Thanksgiving Day parade. As Bieber sings, "I'm sorry," but there is no way you're going to be able to avoid, "What did I hear about this young man's penis on the news?" Said penis will be joined by a lot of fun for the whole family, including: Wayne Brady, Hamilton star Renée Elise Goldsberry, George Takei, and performances from the Broadway casts of Jersey Boys and Beautiful – The Carole King Musical. But you won't be able to pay attention to any of them as you'll just be hoping that your grandmother doesn't ask you to find a picture of it for her "on the computer" or that your grandfather doesn't make a joke like "From what I hear, he's got a float of his own."