Michael Keaton Calls Spider-Man ‘Pussy’ for Crying, Is Just Jealous Because Batman Doesn’t Have Powers

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Last night, Michael Keaton was on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon to talk about his new, critically acclaimed film, Spotlight, but he also used the opportunity to do some traditional gender-norms comedy. Keaton mocks that Spider-Man cries, asserting that Batman would never cry. It's supposed to be a dig on Spider-Man, but it seems more like a dig on Batman. Sorry that Spider-Man isn't emotionally stunted. Sorry he grew up working-class, having to cry from time to time to get a toy. Bruce Wayne never had to cry to get a toy; they just showed up. He probably pays people to cry for him. "Why so serious, Batman?" "My parents were murdered in front of me, so I've been detached ever since, afraid to truly connect with people." In other news, Superman also doesn't cry, but that's because his super tears would fly so quickly out of his alien tear ducts that they'd destroy the pavement.