In a group as anxiety-filled and self-absorbed as the comedy community (I’m allowed to say that because I am a member), the only thing worse than an audience staring up at you in stony silence is a list of all your friends and peers on a Comedians to Watch list. They can ruin your day if you aren’t on them, which is why comedian and self-appointed buzz tsar Zach Broussard assembled a totally arbitrary, extremely satisfying Top 1,000 Comedians of 2015 list. In case you start reading and suspect the list might actually be real, please turn your attention to who came in at No. 911. Broussard also released a Top 1,000 list in 2014 (in which I came in at No. 967), and for a second year in a row, comic Rich Vos has failed to make the cut, a turn of events he confronted Broussard about back in June. He did, however, get a very sweet Honorable Mention at the end. Now, let’s all laugh about this excellent bit until the next actual Comedians to Watch list comes out and destroys our self-esteem all over again.