Fuller House to Explain Away Michelle’s Absence in a Realistic, Vaguely Sad Way

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Photo: Larry Busacca/Getty Images

Without the involvement of Mary-Kate or Ashley Olsen, Netflix's Fuller House reunion show is left to explain the whereabouts of adorable moppet Michelle Tanner. Turns out she's in a better place now. She's in New York! You didn't think they would kill her off, did you? Jesus Christ, people. No, apparently Michelle is on the East Coast "creating her fashion empire," in a silly nod to the Olsens' real-life moguldom. According to Us Weekly, the show will include an episode in which Michelle's family members prank-call her with her enduring catchphrase, "You got it, dude!" I personally want to watch the show where fashion icon Michelle Tanner wakes up in the middle of the night, half-blind and fumbling for her phone, only to realize it's just her adult family members prank-calling her again. She hangs up, stares at the ceiling, and wonders if any of us ever really get it. The ghost of Comet the dog could guest-star.