9 Life Pro Tips We Learned From ‘Idiotsitter’

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Watch Idiotsitter Thursday nights at 10:30/ 9:30c on Comedy Central and the CC app.

Comedy Central’s hilarious web series-turned-show Idiotsitter made it’s TV debut last week (and you can watch the entire pilot episode exclusively on Comedy Central now). The show chronicles the saga of a hyper-educated young woman (Charlotte Newhouse) who is hired to babysit a staggeringly wealthy woman-child (Jillian Bell) who is under house arrest.

Idiotsitter is a study in contrasts – with two fantastic comediennes playing off each other. And like all great comedy, it’s full of hidden wisdom and useful pro tips that you can apply to everyday life.

Here are just a few of our favorites.

Be a Confident Flirt

No need to be shy. Sometimes you just need to 1) approach a parked police car on horseback, 2) take a swig of whiskey straight out of the bottle and 3) casually proposition both officers for sex before 4) trotting off into the sunset.

Just About Anything Can Be High Fashion

like this antique Mexican blanket.

Or this bomb ass dong shirt.

You Can Easily Avoid Your Student Loans With the Old “Prank Call In Reverse” Trick

Like when Billie answers her creditor’s call with “Moishe’s Gold Emporium, wrong number, I know this before we even talk! Shalom!”

Or this drunken variation: “Ting Poo’s Dry Cleaners, no Billie here.”

Remember to Relax and Roll With the Punches

Because someone puking on your hair at a party is a sign of good luck, like a bird pooping on your head.

Take More ‘Friendship Baths’

’Cause why the hell not?

Don’t roofie people. And Especially Don’t HOOFIE Them.

Roofie + horse tranquilizer. Obviously.

Money Absolutely Can – But also Can’t – Buy You Happiness.

When In Doubt, Call Your Mom From the Car and Ask Her to Google It

Because sometimes you just need to know if someone can repossess your car while you’re still driving it (because that tow truck is still right behind you).

Don’t Tell Very Rich People Things They Already Know About Themselves

Rich folk get bored easily. They don’t need to hear about what you think about their new hybrid car company. They probably just want you to agree to serve as a legal caretaker for their spoiled daughter who is on house arrest for drunkenly propositioning two police officers.

Watch Idiotsitter Thursday nights at 10:30/ 9:30c on Comedy Central and the CC app.

9 Life Pro Tips We Learned From ‘Idiotsitter’