Josh Gad, best known as the voice of Olaf the snowman from Disney’s Frozen, demolished poor Penny, a.k.a. Kaley Cuoco, last night on Lip Sync Battle. It makes sense, considering Gad’s Broadway chops. In all areas from song choice to execution, Gad was the better performer, which is a little too bad because Cuoco clearly tried very hard. But as we all know, participation ribbons don’t win competitions. Let’s go to the replay:
Battle 1: Kaley Cuoco’s “Move Bitch” vs. Josh Gad’s “How Will I Know”
In high school I had a friend named Kelly, a beautiful, blonde young Republican who told me she liked listening to “gangsta rap” in the car and “going nuts.” I imagine if she ever did a lip-sync battle, the result wouldn’t be dissimilar to what Kaley Cuoco, sporting denim cutoffs and an admirably toned midsection, has produced here: awkward, uncomfortable miming of black masculinity. Josh Gad keeps it pretty simple, and his song choice is impeccable: Whitney Houston’s classic “How Will I Know.” It’s joyful and bouncy and, thankfully, wipes away that last number.
Winner: Josh Gad, by a giant silver bow.
Battle 2: Josh Gad’s “I Touch Myself” vs. Kaley Cuoco’s “I’m a Slave 4 U”
After watching the teaser-trailer, I was ready to hate Gad’s performance because it looked like something that trades in spectacle for performance. But to his credit, Gad pulls it off. Yes, it still looks like postmodernism had the runs on the stage, but I also enjoyed thinking about the performance as a metaphor for Donald Trump’s self-perception. Cuoco, bless her heart, clearly put her all into reproducing Britney Spears’s 2001 MTV VMAs performance of “I’m a Slave 4 U.” There was a snake.
Winner: Josh Gad, by a few dozen hair-transplant operations.
Overall: It’s forever winter for Olaf. Josh Gad for the win.