Friends! Let’s all thank Black Jesus (a.k.a. Taraji P. Henson) for inventing DVR so we could watch the Golden Globes AND The Real Housewives tonight. It turns out this technology was unnecessary because the Golden Globes was a waste of three hours, three minutes, and 73 eggs from my ovaries. Thankfully, RHOA makes up for it with a pretty moving episode: Kenya confronts her past family issues and nonexistent relationship with her mom, Lauren and Porsha have it out about work and Lauren’s pregnancy, and we officially wrap up the Phaedra-owes-Todd-money thing. PLUS! We see Mama Joyce and, as per usual, she’s getting in the middle of Kandi’s business. All in all, “Trouble on the Family Tree” is pretty solid. Let’s discuss.
We open with Kandi and Mama Joyce shopping at an overpriced baby store because I guess they don’t know Babies-R-Us exists? Seriously, why do rich people blow cashola on this stuff when you can buy everything your baby needs for $117 at an after-Christmas sale? Anyway, they discuss the Phaedra situation. Mama Joyce offers to talk to her. LOL. That’s going to be a trainwreck, so you know I’m into it.
Meanwhile, Kenya and Co. head back home to Detroit so she can confront her mom, who abandoned her as a child, and also go to the family reunion Kenya organized. Hmm. Maybe this shouldn’t be captured on camera? I’m all for “reality” television, but this is something you cannot control. If this meeting between Kenya and her mom goes awry — and we’re given no reason to expect otherwise — then it will be a horrible moment. Let’s pray it won’t be heartbreaking! Thankfully, I can take my mind off this stressful situation because Kenya and Co. start talking about some jankity dudes she used to date. Yay! Everyone is happy again … until the stress returns. Kenya’s dad and stepmom are also in town to help her confront her mom. SO MUCH PRESSURE!
We catch up with Cynthia, who is packing because Peter is taking her on a surprise trip. Wow. I’m actually a little impressed with him. I feel like he’s making a huge effort to set things right in their relationship. I’m just not sure what she is doing. He’s been taking her on dates and trips, hanging with her friends and she just … shows up and looks hot? IDK. Marriage is a two-person thing, so I’m not sure why she’s not doing “work” to make ish work.
Next, we catch up with Porsha, who is pretending she’s not slowly dying inside because her younger sister/assistant Lauren is pregnant and married. The two ladies talk. It. Does. Not. Go. Well. As we all know, Lauren is preggers and can’t do everything herself. That includes the one time she missed a package delivery, and somehow, Porsha thinks that means she can question Lauren’s ability to do her job. Right. Or Porsha could go on Craigslist and hire someone to help her sister out for a few months. #A-Doy. Am I missing something here, folks? How can someone who loves family be so inflexible about a soon-to-be mother’s changing schedule? #RealTalk, these two need to part ways. Porsha’s not happy that Lauren’s personal life is together, and Lauren is tired of living in Porsha’s shadow. The freaking end. It’s not the end, though, because Porsha goes on and on about how she has worked so hard to earn her life. LOL. WHAT? She came from money, married a rich guy, got money from him in a divorce settlement, and is now on a reality show where she displays no discernible talent. Sweetie:
What you do is not hard work. Teachers work hard. Doctors work hard. Service-industry people work hard. Get some damn perspective.
So, Mama Joyce goes to see Phaedra at her job. AWK-WARD. Mama Joyce should not be involved in Phaedra and Kandi’s strained friendship. I like Kandi, but she allows too many people to get in her business. At first, I felt badly for her, but it’s starting to seem like Kandi secretly enjoys having other people fight her battles for her. I do not respect that. Kandi is too doggone old not to handle her own business. Her mama, business partner, husband, and assistant should not be confronting Phaedra about their problems. Anyway, Phaedra and Mama Joyce work it out and decide to throw a baby shower for Kandi. Cute!
Porsha comes to visit Lauren to make up for the flight. Right off the bat, though, Lauren calls Phaedra out for buying her flowers from the grocery store. LMAO. I love Lauren. Let’s move on. They actually get to the root of their beef: Lauren hid her pregnancy from Porsha because Porsha’s personal life is a garbage dump. Porsha says she’s happy for her sister (#SideEye) and that she’s going to figure out her life. And then she goes home to stab a voodoo doll made in Lauren’s likeness.
Back in Detroit, Kenya and Co. take a minibus to her mom’s house. On the way, her father Ronald drops a bombshell: Kenya’s mom, Patricia, abandoned her because her dad said he didn’t want his kids having illegitimate children. Ron and Patricia were only 16 and unwed when she got pregnant, so she had to pretend Kenya wasn’t her child. WHOOOA! See?! This is why this shouldn’t be on television. This is horrible. No one’s child should have to hear this. Oof.
Kenya arrives at Patricia’s house and knocks on the door. When she asks to talk, Patricia locks the door. Sigh. Poor Kenya. Thankfully, she gets back on the bus and tells everyone that this is the last time she will reach out to her mom. The next day, they head to the family reunion Kenya organized. Plenty of people show up and everyone seems happy, but for some reason, Aunt Lori leaves town? It turns out Lori learned that Kenya went to see Patricia, and that made Lori mad. I’m still not sure why she had to leave. Oy. What’s wrong with making one last-ditch effort to meet her mom? Aunt Lori a.k.a. Sisqo’s doppelganger is tripping.
In lighter news, Phaedra and Todd check out the latest edit of the workout video. She doesn’t want to release the video because she thinks it’s bad, but she tells Todd that she’s going to pay him the $8,400. Awesome. Then they talk about the baby shower, which is probably going to cost $75,000 because she wants to do an over-the-top Coming to America theme. LOL. Why do some black people act like Coming to America is the only movie to use as inspiration for themed parties? There’s so many: You Got Served, House Party, Set It Off, Soul Food, all of the Barbershops. The options are endless!
Alrighty, what did you think of this episode? Is anyone else hoping that Kenya has finally found some peace of mind about her fractured family? Should Lauren should stop working for her sister?
