When you’re creating a female character for your film, you’ve got a lot of choices. For instance, do you make her a lithe, leggy blonde — or a lithe, leggy brunette? That’s a joke, but it’s also not really a joke, as producer Ross Putman’s new Twitter account @femscriptintros attests. The account tweets out horrible character descriptions of the female leads in movie scripts Putman reads, in which the women are described as sexual props first, and actual interesting characters second. (For privacy’s sake, he changes every name to “Jane.”) Read some of the lowlights below, just as soon as you get done dancing naked on your bed. You know, for fun.