@Fillegrossiere A.K.A. SadeVEVO A.K.A. Alyson is adored both locally and online. She loves Sade, beverages, tweeting at rappers, and roasting people. This week, Alyson talked to me about three of her favorite tweets she’s made, and we discussed what it’s like deciding what’s worthy of a dialogue, fitting a whole experience into one tweet, and finding herself very funny.
Alyson: For some reason, people think there’s a conversation to have or be had about misogyny in rap music. Unfortunately for them, there isn’t. Anyone who makes special effort to look up statistics of violence against women with respect to something women specifically enjoy, doesn’t care about women (more specifically, women of color). Life is hard enough and I’ll be damned if I shouldn’t enjoy Gucci Mane on top of it. Block me if u don’t agree.
What are your favorite and least favorite things about Twitter?
My favorite thing about Twitter is myself/my friends. My least favorite thing about Twitter is all of the other people who also use the website. I like that people enjoy my tweets but I would tweet even if no one enjoyed them (and I did, for years). I think part of not letting Twitter absolutely ruin my life is just tweeting for me. This isn’t to say that I’m not open to making friends with people I haven’t encountered yet. I owe Twitter a lot when it comes to making lifelong friends. Other than that, I try not to think about the intricacies of Twitter and all that. Once someone made a map of “Weird Twitter” and it made me want to throw up. Partly because of some of the people on the map, partly because I don’t like thinking about Twitter like that. I don’t like thinking about space or deep sea life for the same reasons. It’s overwhelming and just ruins it for me.
How important is the conversation aspect of Twitter for you?
Depends on who the conversation is with. I recently changed my interactions to only see mentions from people I follow, if that tells you anything. Every now and then I click over and check the ‘all’ tab, but I don’t recommend it. It’s a mess over there. A lot of people used to waste their time playing in my mentions. Aside from all that I love shallow conversation. I like talking with people about really mundane shit. I tweeted at Metro Boomin and asked what he likes to order from Applebees. T-Pain told me the right way to use an ironing board the other day. Where else could that happen? Aside from that, I try not to place a lot of emphasis on conversation. There’s a misconception online that every topic is worthy of dissecting and having a lengthy dialogue about. Just like it or retweet and keep it moving. Every tweet doesn’t need to be commented on.
This tweet is part of a series I did. I studied English and creative writing for awhile in college and while I enjoyed it, I was also surrounded by fuckin dweebs and nerds – the same people who would tattle to the RA when I played “Stuntin Like My Daddy’” “too loud” in my dorm room. Guarantee if I had been reading Robert Frost or some Ernest Hemingway bullshit through a loudspeaker they wouldn’t have complained. There’s a lot I could go into when talking about this tweet but I think everyone gets it. Once I showed a coworker this tweet and he said, “What do you have against Robert Frost?” So like, HE didn’t get it but I think everyone else does.
Is it weird at all for you to talk about tweets in person?
I love talking about tweets in person. A lot of my friends aren’t on Twitter, but telling them about a tweet usually translates pretty well. You just have to know who you’re talking to and get the punchline right. Sometimes you can tell someone a tweet right and they just don’t get it. That’s okay. Just find out their Twitter handle and preemptively block them so you don’t have to go through the humiliation a second time. Sometimes people ask me for my Twitter handle and I give it to them. Sometimes I don’t. I don’t want anyone I know to feel like they have to follow me because we know each other in person. That sentiment isn’t shared. I wouldn’t follow every person I know. Everyone isn’t as funny as they want to be.
How do you deal with people not “getting” your tweets? Do you have a go-to reaction for that?
I don’t deal with it, really. If someone doesn’t “get” my tweet, that’s okay. By the same token, I don’t have to explain it and I wouldn’t disrespect my tweet by trying. It’s not that I don’t care what people think of my tweets, but there are enough people who “get” them. One person in my mentions not understanding why I refer to my pussy as “krumpin” isn’t going to have too much of an effect on me. Alternatively, when I’m talking to someone in person and they don’t think I’m funny it really stresses me out. I start to wonder what’s wrong with them. Everyone has flaws but damn, what a terrible one to have to deal with. One of my friends told me that she wishes she found anything as funny as I find myself. That’s so real. I’m my biggest fan.
I love this one, mostly because it’s something funny that kinda turns inside of itself by the end of the tweet. Those are the funniest moments to me. This is an actual, real thing that happened. I guess it should make me cringe, but it doesn’t.
Are there things online that make you cringe?
Absolutely. The Internet is wild fucked up. There’s varying cringe degrees for me, but lately I’ve been cringing because of shit I see on Facebook (I know). A lot of white people have been commenting on my statuses or whatever saying that reverse racism is real, or trying to “dialogue” with me about race. It’s black history month and they can’t chill. Navigating Facebook in these situations is a lot different than doing so on Twitter, I’ll definitely say that. People on Facebook tend to be more disrespectful. They feel like they have the right to be? Because we had a class together in 2007? And both like Seinfeld? It’s funny but also annoying as hell. People don’t respect boundaries. Unfortunately, Facebook does not have a character limit. Sometimes people get entirely too out of pocket and I have to remind them who they’re talking to. People are more concerned with how what I say makes THEM feel and it’s not about that. It’s about me. Something that is the same about me on and offline is that I’ll check someone regardless of how long I’ve known them or what our relationship is. I don’t owe anyone anything. If you’re crossing a line, I’m going to tell you.
How often do you tweet about real things that happened? Is that any more or less fun than tweeting other stuff?
I tweet a lot about real things that have happened. It’s trickier than just tweeting your own stupid ass thoughts because you have to get the whole situation into one tweet. Some people will tweet about a funny situation over several tweets, but that’s not as funny to me. I like the challenge of getting it all in one. My favorite part of tweeting is making sure I like how the words look and sound together. Sometimes I see something and want to tweet about it and I have to stop and think. I only have 140 characters. Let me dissect this situation. Why is this funny to me? What are the details that are highlighted for me? Why do I want to tweet about this? How can I make this funny and succinct? When you get it right, you know. The tweet just courses through your veins and it feels good. Sometimes I’ll tweet and it’s just a really close up pic of a pitcher of Kool-Aid. I just love tweeting.
Jenny Nelson lives and writes in Brooklyn and works at Funny Or Die.