James Franco Is Turning Zola’s Story Into a Movie, Because of Course He Is

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Do less. Photo: Rachel Murray/Getty Images

In today's greatest troll: Remember Zola's too-good-to-be-true Twitter tale of sex work, drugs, lies, and murder that went viral last October? Well, James Franco read it, too, and he's turning it into the movie we all knew was inevitable. He's reportedly signed on to direct and star in Zola Tells All: The Real Story Behind the Greatest Stripper Saga Ever Tweeted, based on Zola's infamous "hoe trip" to Florida, but, weirdly, adapted from David Kushner's Rolling Stone feature about the 20-year-old Hooter's waitress/stripper whose real name is Aziah Wells. And while it's unclear who Franco will play in this bizarre scenario, our money's on Jarrett, the mentally unstable boyfriend of "this white bitch" Jess, the woman who, in the story, involved Zola on a wild night of prostitution and stripping, along with Jess's violent pimp, Z. Andrew Neel and Mike Roberts — who both recently worked with Franco on Sundance entry Goat — will write the script. From this day forward, February 4, 2016, will forever be known as the date Hollywood truly got lost in the sauce. And also the day Black Twitter died. RIP.