2090 called. You watched the new season of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and it was so good, it made you live forever as some kind of immortal pleasure vampire. The future is great. Speaking of which, Unbreakable returns to Netflix April 15, which give you plenty of time to dry-clean your Baby Slut T-shirts, get rich, and burn off your skin tags. See you in April, bitches! Which, of course, are female dogs, which are the things that make puppies, so it’s a compliment!