What a cruel man Ashton Kutcher is. Demi Moore’s ex-husband reminisced about his glory days on Punk’d, where he would play elaborate pranks on celebrities, reducing them to tears and terror. One of his very favorites was one of his last, when he returned to the rebooted show to punk Drake in 2012. You might be fuzzy on the details so we’ll recap: Drake thought he was going to meet Vice President Joe Biden, but instead he met with an earthquake in a parking lot. The footage you didn’t see was that Drake had actually jumped and curled up into the fetal position on his friend’s lap, or as Kutcher describes it, “Canadian fetaled up.” And this is just one of the many secrets Kutcher has locked up in his Punk’d vault. Oh, the stories of grown men crying they must tell.