No, you are not a moderately famous celebrity in the mid-’00s, though it sure must feel like you’re being Punk’d right now. Netflix really is making a CBS-style, laugh track-punctuated sitcom about a failed football player (played by Ashton Kutcher) moving back home to live on his parents’ ranch. Yes, those parents are played by Sam Elliott and Debra Winger. Yes, Elisha Cuthbert is in it. And, yes, Netflix is spending money on this instead of bringing back Happy Endings. The first ten episodes of The Ranch will pop up on Netflix April 1. Still not a joke!