How to Get Away With Murder
Hey boos! There was no new episode of Scandal tonight, so I spent the hour leading up to How to Get Away With Murder following unofficial Michael Fassbender and Michael B. Jordan Instagram accounts. This, I believe, is what Oprah meant by “living your best life.” Anyway, I think we can all agree that looking at pictures of those hot dudes took my eyeballs to the pleasure principle, but honestly, I was checking them out because I’m STILL reeling from the revelation of last week’s episode: Wes. Maybe. Killed. His. Mom.
WHAT THE WHAT? Yeah, and now the stakes are only higher because “Something Bad Happened” is the best episode of the season. I cried and I screamed at the TV. This was so, so, so good. We get the full story on what happened to Rose. Flaurel finally talk again. This was a wild and amazing 60 minutes, so let’s get right to it, shall we?
We open with Wes sitting down with Psych Ward Doctor from two episodes ago — sorry, y’all, but I’m zero percent interested in this chick. She’s still a nonessential character, so unless her and Wes are going to bone, I’m not going to bother to learn her name. There’s too many other pressing issues! So, Wes is telling her everything that he learned about his mom from the case files he saw. He believes Rose was murdered. PWD goes, “’Kay, but I’m not a cop, so why you tellin’ me dis?” And he says that he wants her to help him remember that time period, so he can piece together what happened. Huh? Just go to the damn police, Wes.
Just then, we cut to Annalise and Laurel’s confrontation about the page from the case file, which pinned Young Wes as the murder suspect. Laurel says that Wes has not seen this page yet. Anna says that Wes didn’t kill his mom and that Rose killed herself. Laurel wants the truth and Anna is like, “Is that because Wes is your bae now? You used Frank and now you’re on to the next dude?”
Damn, we are only two minutes into this episode and Anna has already snatched someone’s wig and left them as bald as Caillou. But it seems like Laurel doesn’t care because she knows that only reason Anna is criticizing her is because Anna has something to hide. What else is new?! Lady has more secrets than I have Victoria’s Secret five for $25 underwear. My undies are straight-up Target Xhilaration brand and I’m proud of it. Moving on. Anna tells Laurel that if Wes wants the truth, he can come to her directly. But he hasn’t; he’s still with PWD and she’s making him think back to the days that led up to Rose’s death. Cut to a flashback ten years earlier.
Rose and Young Wes are playing a card game when Immigration and Customs Enforcement come a-knockin’. Ruh-roh. They take her into the police-interrogation room. Eve walks in, then starts going over her file and talks about how she entered the country illegally. HUH? Did Anna put Eve up to this to scare Rose into testifying?
Back to the present. Laurel is still trying to find Wes and then Frank talks to her privately. He’s like, “You wanted to know the bad things about me,” and she’s like, “I didn’t think it involved murder.” But he murdered someone for Annalise/Sam and she has covered up a murder to protect people, so … why is this an issue for her? Okay, so she doesn’t know about the other murders bae committed. When she finds out those, she can break up with him. But for now? I just want my Flaurel back. They love each other. I just need to see them being happy again. This is devastating.
What’s even more stressful is this video business. Philip sent the Keating 5 another vid, this time of Michaela leaving Caleb’s house. Anna has had enough and takes the laptop to ADA Todd Denver. She wants Todd to bring in Philip, but she will only show Todd the video if he agrees to give the Keating 5 blanket immunity. Even though he’s annoyed that he put away Catherine and now Anna is suggesting that maybe Catherine didn’t commit murder, Todd still wants to see the laptop, so he agrees. Damn, Anna is so good. She’s always coming up with schemes to save the Keating 5’s behinds. My college professors wouldn’t even stick around five minutes after office hours to discuss my school work. These kids need to appreciate her more.
Another flashback: Anna is sitting and looking concerned in her hotel room. She tells Frank that Rose is fine and he should take the day off. After Anna closes her door, Eve arrives and says she feels bad for scaring Rose into testifying. Then Eve tries to kick a little low-key game and that’s when Anna stands to reveal her baby bump. Awwwwkward.
We return to Wes and Psych Ward Doctor. He bounces once he realizes he can’t talk to her about certain things. He also continues to ignore Laurel’s phone calls. Oh boy. When Frank finds out about the lip lock no one wanted to see, Laurel is going to be screwed. Meanwhile, the rest of the Keating 5 are hoping they won’t be screwed when Anna calls them to say that everything will be fine. Yay! Then, Nate calls her and says the ADA is playing her; he just ordered a search warrant of her house and office related to the death of Sinclair. Oh no! When Todd’s shady ass comes strolling back into his office like everything is cool, Anna calls Bonnie and says, “The police are coming. Shred everything,” all while staring Todd down. WOW! But wait, it’s just pretend! Anna is actually buying time for the Keating 5 to impersonate a judge to approve the search warrant. That way, Bonnie can call the real judge once the police come, and then Todd will get cussed out and the search will be called off. If Anna’s trifling yet brilliant ways could turn into a peen, I’d be doing this right now:
Yes, I would be trying to get preggers because her and I would straight up have the smartest child on the street. Anna and Keating 5 for the win! And now, Todd has to do what Anna wants or she’s going to sue him for illegal search and entry.
We’re back in the flashback with Eve and Anna, who is apologizing for not revealing the pregnancy sooner. She was just scared something bad was going to happen to the baby. OOOOH! So Anna does want to be a mom. Still, Eve is not happy about this. Poor girl is heartbroken and Anna is slightly distracted because Wallace calls to threaten her and ensure that Rose will testify. Yo, I don’t trust this Wallace dude. He better not be the reason why there isn’t a Sam Jr. on this planet.
We return to the current day. Laurel goes to see Wes and asks him to stop looking into his mom’s death because Philip, duh. Wes doesn’t care and he refuses to talk to Anna because he thinks she is the reason his mom is dead. Laurel is like, “That’s not true.” Girl …
Anyway, Wes is pissed because he can tell she talked to Anna. Even though Laurel says she didn’t tell Anna anything, Wes kicks her out because he feels betrayed. Ouch. The rest of the Keating 5 decide to have a sleepover at Colliver’s so they can be together in case Philip tries anything. Oliver is like, “This is boo-boo. Glad Stanford is an option,” and everybody is confused like, “You gonna leave for real?” While everyone else is asleep, Michaela and Connor talk. Turns out she’s also trying to get into Stanford and she asks him not to leave her behind if he gets in. He’s like, “I won’t.” DUH! None of these heauxes do any gahtdamn school work. At this point even the Head Start program, which lets in all of God’s children, would be like, “You two are trash, never go to class or take exams. Stay home and keep watching reruns of Barney.” Meanwhile across town, Bonnie and Frank are having one fine drink at the bar. If I was Bonnie, I would be trying to hop on that D like Mario and Luigi would hop on Yoshi’s shell back in Super Mario World. They don’t. Instead, they just talk about their exes and drink.
Back to flashback. Eve is pissssed about the pregnancy and the two hash it out. Annalise swears the two of them broke up before she got with Sam. Eve is like, “You’re only with Sam because you’re scared to be in a lez-be-honest relationship,” which is probably true. Anna is like, “I loved you, but I’m not gay.” They yell at each other and start tearing up. So tragic. Eve gets a call from Rose, and Rose goes to the police-interrogation room. Rose has more questions and Eve is like, “You will get kicked out of the country, but Wes will stay here.” Rose agrees to testify, but wants to take Young Wes home. She says she will show up to court the next day, and Eve lets the two of them leave. UHHHH:
Now we’re in the present and Wes is still scouring the internet to get the truth. Then he finally decides to go to Annalise for answers, but she’s not there. She’s at Nate’s. I’m pretty sure this scene only exists so we can all marvel at Nate’s perfect bod — #TwoThumbs — which is actually so perfect that I would feel insecure about my body around him. Not only would I have sex with him with the lights off, but I would make sure our bedroom were outfitted with blackout shades like the kind they use in Alaska because it’s daylight 28 hours a day there. Seriously, I would straight up be like the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland. This is all Nate would see of me while we boned:
Anyway, Anna is happy and all boo’d up like she doesn’t know that Philip is on the loose stalking everybody. I will say, Nate and Anna are being cute right now, so I’ll allow it, but I’m also scared. And then I start freaking out because we see Wes is snooping through Anna’s office. He sees the page from the case file is just STRAIGHT CHILLING ON ANNALISE’S DESK AND HE READS THAT HE IS THE SUSPECT IN THE DEATH OF HIS MOM!
What. That. All-Natural. And. Gluten-Free. Fuck?! Why did Annalise leave that sitting out in plain sight? I know she was busy, but maybe before she went to go get laid, she could’ve hid it in a copy of Home & Garden that she keeps in the bathroom. This is insane! And so unlike Anna, but I guess when you spend you entire day covering stuff up, it’s easy to overlook a thing or two. Still, this was a huge oversight. Oy.
The next day, Anna and Todd talk and he’s hella mad that the Keating 5 were at the crime scene. He says that he might have more footage soon, and once he gets it, he’s going after everybody. Anna returns to the office and tells her students to shut their damn mouths about anything that happened the night Sinclair died. Laurel is like, “Yeah, we’re down, but Wes isn’t here, so he doesn’t know about this plan.” And he’s not there because he’s with Psych Ward Doctor. He shows her the page and says he remembers standing over his mom, holding a bloody knife. PWD is not convinced because he wasn’t charged for the murder. If nothing happened to him and her death was ruled a suicide, how could he have done it?
Another flashback. Eve tells Anna that Rose is going to testify. Anna starts crying because she’s used to having miscarriages. She’s not ready be a mom and doesn’t think she’s going to be a good mother. Eve gives her a pep talk. Nice.
Back to present. We’re going back and forth between Wes/WPD and Anna/Laurel. Wes thinks someone hid the truth to protect him and Laurel is on the verge of saying she knows Frank killed Lila and then she begs Anna to talk to Wes because he says too much. And her concern is correct because Wes is like, “Believe me, doc, it is possible I killed my mom.” Whoa! Then we head straight to flashback. Rose is frantically packing bags so her and Young Wes can skip town. They get in a car and he’s mad. He doesn’t understand why they’re leaving , so he gets out of the car and runs back to the apartment. WAIT A MINUTE. We see Young Wes going into his apartment. The door is open and his mom is on the ground with a knife in her throat. Annalise is running away from the apartment, crying. Did Anna killed Wes’s mom?!
What the heck is happening?! We don’t find out yet because we return to the present. Frank is getting real with Laurel and he says, “I love you.” Laurel is unimpressed and tells him that she doesn’t love him back and dumps him. We zoom out and see an audio recorder. Then we see that Bonnie is listening to this whole doggone conversation. WHOA! She may be hella sneaky, but she is consistently keeping the ship afloat. Now she knows that Laurel knows, which has me fearing for Laurel’s life. We’ve already seen that Bonnie is ride or die for Anna and Frank, so Laurel better watch her step.
Sidenote: Laurel obviously loves Frank, so I’m not too worried. They’re going to get back together … if Bonnie doesn’t kill her first.
We catch up with a sad Wes. He starts putting away all the paperwork from his mom’s case when he sees Eve’s name on a form! That takes us to another flashback. Wallace tells Anna that Rose tried to leave town, but she’s back now at her apartment. Okay. That could’ve been a text message, so what does this dude want? He and Annalise both exchange threats and then she leaves and goes to Rose. Rose is stressed because Young Wes is not there. She has no idea where he ran off to after he got out of the car. Annalise begs her Rose to testify to protect Young Wes. Rose doesn’t want to testify because the Mahoney family are capable of bad things. She doesn’t elaborate. Then Rose is like, “Take care of my boy,” and stabs herself in the neck?! LAWD! Anna starts to call 9-1-1, but stops herself and just runs out while Rose bleeds to death. DAMN! As she’s running, she hears footsteps and hides behind a corner. It’s Young Wes going into the apartment. He pulls the knife out and calls 9-1-1.
We cut back to the present. Anna goes to Wes’s crib to talk to him. He doesn’t answer, so she slips a note under the door and then turns to walk away. She hears a footstep inside the apartment, so she announces that she’s coming inside. She walks in and doesn’t see him. She walks up to the closed closet door. As she’s about to open it, Eve calls and says that Wes is in Eve’s lobby because he saw her name in the case file. OMG! Who’s hiding in Wes’s place? Anna tells Eve to call 9-1-1. She starts to run, but a hand reaches out from Wes’s bed and grabs her foot. She falls. It’s Philip. He’s on top of her and shoving her. The episode ends. I freakin’ die. Pour out a 40 oz. of kombucha in honor of my death and please pray for Annalise.
Alrighty, what did you think of this episode? Who else was blown away? Do you think Philip is going to die? And how will Eve get out of this web of lies? Also, the promo for next week’s episode says there will be a surprise hookup. I hope it’s not Wes and Laurel. Who else is with me on this? Let me know in the comment section below.