How to Get Away With Murder
OH. EM. GEE. Friendships, that was one banana sandwich of a finale.
Not going to lie, about 30 minutes into the episode, I was like, “Hmm, maybe How to Get Away With Murder can’t match the heights of the previous two weeks,” and then Pete Nowalk and Co. were like:
… and then proceeded to snatch my edges, my eyebrows, and the glass of Paul Newman lemonade that was I drinking out of my hand and ruin my damn life. So many secrets revealed! So much betrayal happened! So many tears shed! And not just by the characters. I was chilling in the crib, crying. All of the feels have been felt and all of the twists have been twisted. “Anna Mae” is the perfect ending to season two, and I am already jonesing for a new episode. We have so much to discuss, so let’s not delay it any longer.
We begin with the Keating 5 (plus Bonnie and Frank) at Annalise’s office, freaking out because they don’t where she is. Laurel’s goofy behind is all quiet, not saying anything when she knows doggone well that opening her mouth is part of the reason why Anna bounced. Thankfully, she tells Frank what happened in private and we head to a flashback ten years ago. Frank is fooling around with that woman, Lisa, whom he met at the bar and he’s like, “Have you ever been to Fishtown?” Normally, talking about dining on a vajeen this way would make me wanna close up shop, but since it’s Frank, I’m pretty much open for 24 hours. I mean, if him killing Lila did not “de-hotify” him for me, nothing will. Anyway, Lisa presses pause on their make-out sesh and she’s like, “What’s better than sex?” Um, nothing. Literally nothing is better, but she pulls out a suitcase filled to the brim with money. She gives him a choice: Does he want to do something shady for her, or stay Annalise’s bitch? Ouch. We don’t see his decision because we head back to the present. Oliver hacked into Anna’s credit card and sees that she is in Memphis.
We cut to Memphis. Anna is sleeping in her childhood bedroom and wakes up to find her sister Celestine in bed with her. Annalise. Celestine. Their mom’s name is Ophelia. These are some hella The Color Purple–esque black lady names and I am all the way here for it. Anyway, the two sisters get along very well and Anna continues to avoid real life. Ophelia tells them to get ready and come downstairs because the whole family is coming over to see Anna. Anna quickly takes a shower, then puts on a nice dress and her dope AF wig. She goes downstairs and her family is like “Barack Obama during last year of his presidential term” black. I. Love. It. They are turnt, busting balls, and eating catfish. I wish I was there. You know who wishes someone wasn’t there? Annalise, who is mad as hell to see her dad, Mac. He’s just strolling through, hanging out, and wearing his finest James Earl Jones suit. He wants to talk to Anna, but she peaces out.
We head to another flashback. Frank is mostly naked and contemplating whether to take Lisa up on her offer. To be honest, Frank pacing back in forth in gym shorts could pretty much be its own spin-off series and I would watch it every week. Anyway, Frank has made up his mind. When he checks on Anna and she’s mean to him, he bugs her hotel room and bounces. Back to the present. There’s an arrest warrant out for Anna, but Bonnie stops the Keating 5 from hacking the po-po to find out why. LOL. Anna has done 93,672 illegal things. At this point, does it really matter why the police want her in custody? Speaking of Anna, we cut back to Memphis. She wants to know why Ophelia is back with Mac. The answer ain’t romantic, folks. Ophelia basically says, “I know that Mac is hot garbage, but I’m not about to march to the light by myself, so rolling with him.” Anna is like:
Anna is not here for this mess. I mean, Mac abandoned the family when Anna was growing up, so how can anyone trust that he won’t do it again? But Ophelia doesn’t care about that. She’s willing to take the risk and she’s not going to listen to her daughter. Like mother, like weirdly quasi-related son, Wes is busy not listening to Laurel. She’s asking him not to go to NYC to confront Wallace about him possibly being his daddy. I like that Laurel is there for Wes, but she doesn’t need to be all up on him like she doesn’t know it’s all about Flaurel. Thankfully, Frank interrupts them and Flaurel talk in private. Laurel immediately confesses to kissing Wes. I’m actually shocked. Glad this plot point isn’t dragged out, and also glad Frank is not letting this revelation ruin his life. He has bigger fish to fry: When Laurel tells him about Wallace and Wes, Frank makes a face like he already knew. But how? He wasn’t listening to the bug in Anna’s room. He just placed it there. Hmm.
Anna and Celestine are arguing about Ophelia. Anna doesn’t want mom and dad back together; Celestine is tired of taking care of Ophelia without Anna’s help. Both of these very good points get interrupted because Nate has arrived to tell Anna there is a warrant out for her arrest. He normally wouldn’t waste JetBlue points for this kind of trip, but Ophelia hid Anna’s phone so she could hang out with the fam without distractions, which means Nate had to travel. However, instead of the couple leaving, Ophelia convinces him to hang with the family. Lunch starts off well, then goes horribly. Ophelia calls Mac “Big Daddy” and amazingly, no one barfs. Anna is hella rude to Mac, which is understandable. Ophelia eventually gets annoyed and says, “Maybe the reason you and Sam didn’t have kids is because you act like a baby.” OUCH! Just because Ophelia has someone to eat with at Denny’s doesn’t mean that Anna has to forgive Mac for being a piece of hot garbage.
Back to Philly. Masher (a.k.a. Michaela and Asher) almost bone again, but she puts the kibosh on it and I’m kind of sad. They could be an interesting couple. This hopefully won’t be the end of them? Anyway, they return to the living room. Oliver has hacked into the police’s system to look at Anna’s warrant and most of the details are redacted. The Keating 5 are like, “One of the reasons it would be redacted is if someone around is an informant,” and they suspect that one of them is the rat. Connor? He’s been over Anna for a loooong time and he and Oliver are planning to skip town. Bonnie and Frank continue bonding and I really hope they never hook up. Their friendship is too important and deep to be ruined by the physical.
We return to Memphis. Anna tells Ophelia about the baby dying. OMG! Her mom is beside herself. Then Anna says bye to Nate. They are the cutest little ship. Once he’s gone, Anna and Ophelia have real talk. Annalise says she wanted to get shot and basically implies that she wanted to die. Her mom goes, “The reason why life feels so hard is that you are trying to do everything alone.” OOOH. Real effing talk. Anna needs to stop doing everything alone and maybe she could find some happiness. Oof. Later that night, Ophelia wakes Anna up; she tells her to write a letter to her dead son and bury the note. I like that Ophelia did this. Anna is finally pouring out all the emotions she’s held inside all these years. We don’t know what is written. All we know is that Anna and Sam named their child Sam Jr. OH. SHIT. Anna and Ophelia are holding each other and crying and I’m fairly certain that watching Viola Davis and Cicely Tyson acting together is the definition of #BlackExcellence.
Back to the flashback. We see Lisa listening in on Anna and Eve talking about Mahoney. Lisa then calls Wallace. DAAAAMN! He tells her to take care of it. Cut to Anna’s accident. OMG! It wasn’t a drunk driver, but a hit. WHY?! I cannot handle this, which is probably why we go back to the present. It’s the next day. The Keating 5 are watching security footage of the police station and they find out who the rat is. It’s Caleb!! WUT? Michaela calls Anna after she tells her dad to step the eff off. Even though they’re selfish in similar ways, I’m fine with her never being fine with her dad. Anyway, Michaela tells Anna what’s going on, then Anna returns to Philly and is in ADA Denver’s office. He knows everything she did on the Hapstall case and is ready to put her in jail. That’s when she’s like, “Bish, this case ain’t gonna stick. Caleb is a serial killer.”
Y’all. What the freakin’ freak?! Turns out that Philip was not attacking Annalise to hurt her that night in Wes’s apartment. He was trying to get her to stay long enough so he could tell her that Caleb killed Helena Hapstall. Philip gave Anna a memory stick that contains the data from Caleb’s fitness tracker. I can’t believe it!! The tracker data proves that Caleb was at the scene of the crime. Then, we see Catherine admitting that she and Caleb used to do first-base stuff, except on the night that Helena was killed. But she didn’t say anything about the night Caleb killed their parents because she was in love with him. WUT?!
ADA Denver looks stunned and Annalise makes a face like, “You been Annalise’d,” which is 66 levels above being Olivia Pope’d. Denver and Annalise make a deal: He’ll stop pursuing Anna if she gives him Philip and everything she knows to nail Caleb. It’s immediately all over the news that the po-po are looking for Caleb. Then, we see Caleb dead in a bathtub. He bled out. Did he kill himself … or did someone in Annalise’s crew kill him?! Is this real life? Obviously, it’s not, but I still have to ask the damn question, so leave me alone.
That evening, we see Oliver is on the phone with Stanford admissions … and he’s impersonating Connor … and saying that Connor declines the school’s acceptance letter. WHAT. IS. THIS. TRIFLING. HEAUX. DOING? Why would Oliver do this? He was the only non-ignorant person on the show, then he does this mess. I mean, I get that he wants to stay in Philly to work for Annalise, but it’s not like working for her gets you a free membership to Equinox gym and discounted Old Spice deodorant for life. This lie is not worth tying yourself up in Anna’s damn lies. Oliver, I will be cussing you during the entire hiatus. Congrats.
We head to another flashback. Frank goes to the hospital and confesses to Sam that he tapped Anna’s hotel room. He realizes that the car crash was Wallace’s work, and he wants to tell Anna the truth. Sam tells him he will never say anything to Anna, then we see that on the night Lila died, Sam says to Frank, “You owe me.” O … kay. I mean, asking someone to kill your pregnant jump-off as a make-em-up is supremely idiotic and gross. Sam, you a fool and deserve to be dead. We cut to the present. Bonnie and Anna are talking and Anna says, “Frank needs to go.” End of scene. Wait a minute. Does she mean that Frank needs to be off’d or that Frank just needs to be fired and go find a new job as the human personification of lube? I’m praying for the latter, but I’m 100,000 percent certain Anna meant the former. Oh noes!
We cut to Laurel at Frank’s crib. Everything is gone, including both the money and Frank. Looks like he got smart and dipped before anything bad could happen to him. Then we head to New York City. Wes is there and confronts Wallace on the street: “I think I’m your son.” Wallace looks stunned and says, “What makes you say that?” Just then, he is shot in the head.
LOL. I mean, obviously, it’s not funny that Wallace was murdered. But whoever shot him (Frank, probably) could have waited until Wes was not, like, three inches from his dad. Also, Wes probably should have kept his ass home. Maybe then Wallace would not have been killed in front of him. Either way, Wes’s life is trash. His mom killed herself, his girlfriend Rebecca got killed, and his father (who raped his mother) got killed in front of him. The fact that Wes has not gone Charles Manson on the world is the greatest gift of all. Pray for him, pray for Frank, and pray that Masher decides to bone again.
Alrighty, what did you think of the season two finale? Did you see any of those big reveals coming?