Are You Team Josh or Team Greg on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend?

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Photo: CW

Hello, friendly friends! We’re here to discuss the men of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. As any feminist musical comedy is wont to do, this show has set up a super-acute love triangle for our heroine, Rebecca Bunch. Who should our favorite Shebrew from Scarsdale be with: Her ex-boyfriend and longtime crush, the beefy Josh Chan, or her current flame, the sarcastic and troubled bartender Greg Serrano? There's been some friendly disagreement in the Vulture nest, so let's grab a boba tea and dive in.

Tara: Alex, I hear you are Team Josh, which I think is crazier than a Dream Ghost hallucination. Explain yourself.

Alex: Here are the facts: Josh is a babe — and I love me a babe. He’s sweet, handsome, athletic, and can do multiple back flips in a row. (Can you imagine how that would translate in bed?) He’s kind, thoughtful, and will put up with your bullshit. Even though he only considered Rebecca a friend, he helped her when she needed it, like when he made her house party seem cool on Instagram. His popularity is the kind that doesn’t require demeaning other people, but lies in being generous and confident. Plus, I have a soft spot in my heart for the Asian bro.

Now, tell me why you’re into the cantankerous and insecure Greg?

Tara: Let it be known that I have always been, and forever will be, on Team Nice Guy. Greg may have a hard exterior, but he is all gooey at the core. The way he cares for his sick dad and searches for Rebecca when he thinks she’s missing. The get-well-soon Jesus balloon! There is a sweetness to Greg that far surpasses the dopiness of Josh. Sure, Chan has the classic leading man bod and charm, but he doesn't care for Rebecca the way Greg does. When Greg realizes he doesn’t love his girlfriend like he does Rebecca, he runs to her immediately.

Would Josh do that?

Alex: Well, I would argue that Josh Chan hasn’t had the chance to care for Rebecca the way that Greg has. After all, he had a girlfriend! And if their relationship is any indication, he was kind and patient with Valencia despite her heinous behavior. In this technicolor reality though, both Josh and Greg are inherently nice guys. This isn’t a Fitz-Jake or Big-Aiden dyad, where one man is the “bad boy” and the other is the puppy dog waiting for our gal. I concede that Josh is a little dumb, but that simplicity might be just what Rebecca needs to counteract her own neurosis. Is it healthy for two neurotic people to be together? I ask this as a deeply neurotic person.

Tara: I feel you on the neuroses. So know that it comes from a place of experience when I say yes, two neurotic people can be together. I’ve dated Gregs. They’re self-destructive and unpredictable, but they often don’t expect perfection because they know they can’t deliver that, either. Rebecca needs someone she can be herself around. Someone who doesn’t expect her to be Little Miss Sunshine everyday because that person knows that not every day is going to be her best. Greg understands Rebecca’s crazy (yes, I know it’s actually a lot more nuanced than that) because he has baggage, too. They’re both damaged by their past, and Rebecca needs someone who gets that side of her. Mr. Chan is not that guy. Weren’t you put off by Josh’s face after Rebecca’s confession at the end of the finale?

Alex: Josh Chan is clearly a dim bulb, and the fact that he didn’t realize Rebecca had in fact moved to West Covina for him is evidence of that. But aren’t you put off by Greg’s own insecurities, and his need to play the aloof asshole as a way to maintain the upper hand in the relationship? For me, the question between Josh and Greg is, who is confident to be himself? Greg dithers, puts on airs, and torpedoes his chances with Rebecca. Really, he’s the one who drove Rebecca into Josh’s well-muscled arms. But just as we saw what happened to Greg when he finally got his dream girl, I think we’ll see what happens to Rebecca now she has her dream guy.

Tara: I just want our full-breasted heroine to be happy and find a man that matches her sparkling wit and makes her feel warm inside. Perhaps a third suitor can swoop in?

Alex: True! Honestly, I wouldn't be opposed to a third-party candidate. Both Josh and Greg are probably unhealthy attachments for Rebecca. As a therapist might say, she needs to work on herself first. Choose yourself, Rebecca! That said, the one couple I am firmly behind is White Josh and Daryl. Those are two men after my heart.