After the season-five finale of Game of Thrones, we were left with about a dozen questions, large and small. Is You-Know-Who really dead? Will Drogon save Dany again? How old is Bran now? We don’t have any answers for you right now, but come Sunday, Vulture’s Tara Abell, Nate Jones, and Gazelle Emami will be right here with you, scratching our heads through every minute of it. Join our live-blog of the season-six premiere of Game of Thrones, starting tonight at 9 p.m. EST.
Tara Abell: Welp, I need to go home and take off my giant ruby before slinking into bed. Thanks for joining us, everybody!
Nate Jones: Or little King T-dawg
Nate Jones: Or Missandei and Grey Worm
Nate Jones: Characters we didn’t get this week: Bran, Sam, Loras, Wildlings
Nate Jones: (And, in the books, she used similar magic to make Rattleshirt appear to be Mance Raydar.)
Nate Jones: (Book readers have long suspected that M’s youthful appearance was a trick, based on certain passages from her chapters about her past being a long time ago, and how she didn’t need to eat or sleep.)
Tara Abell: Literally what.
Nate Jones: The necklace WAS a glamour! There are some VERY happy nerds right now
Ilmozart: Wow. We had to wait a long time for our first boobs of the season, huh?
Nate Jones: The waif subscribes to the Obi-Wan Kenobi school of blinded pedagogy
vel: betcha GRRM is laughing all the way to the bank!
Nate Jones: Get yourself to Westeros, girl!
Nate Jones: Interesting that Dany still wants to go back to Meereen after all that happened there
Tara Abell: I find it unlikely that word of the white-haired wife of Khal Drogo did not reach this khalsar.
Nate Jones: Yes!
Ilmozart: This Dothraki conversation is so Pythonesque
Nate Jones: Was that our first “It is known” since season two?
vel: I thought he was looking at his watch
Tara Abell: Six seasons of CGI dragons and Daenerys still has to wear this terrible wig.
Nate Jones: Remember from season 1, making someone walk in a Dothraki khalsar is considered the ultimate insult
Gazelle Emami: Drink every time Jorah looks at his arm
Nate Jones: This trip would be going a lot faster if Jorah didn’t take a break every five minutes to stare ominously at his forearm
Tara Abell: Shit, Jorah got Zika.
Tara Abell: Daario, turn that horse around and go back to Nashville where you belong.
Nate Jones: Ooh Jorah you know the difference between a goat and a ram skeleton brag about it
Tara Abell: The Westeros Wing.
Nate Jones: That’s one bad thing about being Varys: Every time someone’s insult falls flat ,they can just add “because you have no cock.”
Tara Abell: Supercut of Peter Dinklage saying “cock,” please.
nicky: where does tyrian keep his fortune does he have a checking account or something i don’t understand how he carries it
Gazelle Emami: I hope the show embraces the Sand Snakes as comic relief
caraway: Spin off of Varys and Tyrion just walking and talking, walking and talking.
Nate Jones: That’s that great Sand Snake action we know and love
Ilmozart: I want naked Leslie Jones to run out now shouting about how she keeps it real
Nate Jones: Man, for how high hopes I had after Alexander Siddig’s casting, the show did not do right by him
Nate Jones: Goodbye Doran! You died like you lived: Not doing very much at all
Tara Abell: Audible gasps around the room just now.
Ilmozart: Dorne is really a case of “sisters are doing it for themselves”
caraway: “You’re a greedy bitch, you know that?” First LOL of s6.
Nate Jones: Bless Jonathan Pryce for this performance
caraway: I see ‘the season of uber-tough women’ is at hand.
Nate Jones: This septa is SNL’s “The Closer” parody brought to life: “CONE-fesssssss!”
Ilmozart: Are we really calling Tommen a man?
Nate Jones: “We’re going to take everything there is.” That’s certainly a different angle for Jamie from recent seasons
Tara Abell: “Fuck everyone who isn’t us” is this year’s “no new friends.”
Gazelle Emami: Kiss kiss kiss
Nate Jones: “She was nothing like me.” That’s heartbreaking.
Tara Abell: Oh rightttttt. Yes, it’s all coming back to me now.
Nate Jones: It was a SECRET mission Tara
Tara Abell: Wouldn’t there be more pomp for a returning princess? There’s no way they could have sent word ahead of time.
Nate Jones: Fun fact: This boat scene is one of the few filmed in Croatia this season!
Guest: Scared for Tommen and Sir Pounce this season
Ilmozart: I almost feel bad for Cersei right now
Nate Jones: The medieval nerd in me is liking these vows
Tara Abell: Sansa, always one for great manners.
Tara Abell: Are we really supposed to believe that Theon can still use a sword? Isn’t he missing several fingers?
Nate Jones : All that time killing peasants on Jakku really paid off for Gwendoline Christie
nicky: aw that was nice of theon but for every nice thing that happens at least 10 miserable things follow but let us bask in this for a sec
Nate Jones: Someone should do a supercut of terrible threats bad guys give in GOT right before they’re surprisingly killed
Tara Abell: Sansa definitely always lost hide-and-go-seek.
caraway: I want a Brienne at my back. And a Pod at my butt.
Ilmozart: Phasma to the rescue! (?)
Nate Jones: Oh no, poor Theon…
Tara Abell: Absolutely. Sansa lived inside the castle her whole life.
Tara Abell: It washes away their scent!
nicky: cold water makes dogs go away?
Nate Jones: Do we buy that Theon knows the North better than Sansa does? Maybe
Guest: Sansa and Theon pull a Revenant
Nate Jones: I don’t want to be “that guy” but Theon’s running form is terrible
Tara Abell: I’d take a 90-minute movie about Sansa and Theon on the run.
Gazelle Emami: Yes, he feels uncharacteristically collected
Tara Abell: You’d think Roose would be … angrier?
Nate Jones: I don’t know if I buy Ramsay Bolton, heartbroken romantic
Ilmozart: Feed her to the hounds. Ramsay Bolton, romantic.
Tara Abell: Ramsay has really worked on his bedside manner.
Guest: Ahh Ramsay, we’ve missed you…said no one ever
caraway: Roose Bolton is so great at those father-son pep talks.
Nate Jones: This is Thorne’s version of Brutus’ speech in Julius Caesar; can we get a “Thorne is an honorable man” reply from Edd?
Nate Jones: Put Ollie in the “disconcertingly aging teen” club.
Gazelle Emami: “Jon Snow is dead.” That’s a quote folks.
Nate Jones: Wow, Alliser Thorne is not messing around.
Tara Abell : ”I love how Melisandre also has a Winter Red outfit for The Wall.
Guest: Has Melisandre ever correctly predicted anything she saw in the flames
Ilmozart: Guess the Lord of Light didn’t see all, eh?
Nate Jones: Certain book readers are going to be looking VERY CAREFULLY at what Ghost does this episode
Nate Jones: That’s classist!
Tara Abell: Would the men of the Night’s Watch be able to properly spell “traitor”?
caraway: Wait! Melisandre is here! What a coinkidinky!
Nate Jones: Davos Seaworth, heavy sleeper!
Tara Abell: Jesus, Davos, what have you been doing this whole time?
Nate Jones: One shot in, and Jon Snow is still dead.
Tara Abell: That crying wolf is breaking my heart.
Nate Jones: Credits time! We’ve got King’s Landing, Winterfell (under house Bolton), The Wall, Braavos, Meereen, and Dorne (which always bugs me, just call it Sunspear!)
Tara Abell: The Previously on Game of Thrones clip always cracks me up. “Let’s see how much plot we can get into a minute!”
Ilmozart: HBO is really taking advantage of the fact that millions are waiting for GoT to start aren’t they?
Nate Jones: Annnd we’re off! We are officially 2 minutes behind live, if that matters to you
Nate Jones: We are currently in the “fiddling with HBO Go, trying to get the new episode to show up” part of the evening
Tara Abell: Goblet of red wine in hand. Let’s do this thing.
Nate Jones: Only 1 minute left — better hope your friend who has HBO texted you back!
Nate Jones: ♫ game of, it’s a game of, it’s a game of, it’s a game of, GAAAME OF, IT’S A GAME OF, GAME OF THROOONES, game of, it’s a game of, it’s a game of, it’s a game of … ♫