In today’s national nightmare, Michael Strahan is leaving Kelly Ripa for Good Morning America. ABC has announced that the former New York Giants player turned TV personality will end his four-year run as co-host of Live! With Kelly and Michael for an earlier time slot over on Good Morning America, which he’ll officially join in September. As anyone who spends their morning with the GMA crew knows, Strahan is a frequent guest on the show, appearing on GMA twice a week for the last two years. Now he’s headed there full-time, once again leaving Kelly Ripa without a partner in daytime talk-show crime. (Remember, Strahan was Regis Philbin’s replacement.) So what’s a moonshine-loving stoner (on Broad City, anyway) gotta do to get a man to stick around? Stop hiring men, duh! Live! With Kelly, Abbi, and Ilana has a nice ring to it, just saying.