If you had told us years ago that the woman who once wore cupcakes as a bra and shot actual fireworks from her boobs would one day duet with the woman who’s pretty much been there, done that, we’d … well, now that you mention it, the signs were all there. Sunday night, two of music’s zaniest caricatures joined forces at the 2016 Academy of Country Music Awards (ACMs) in Las Vegas, where Dolly Parton chose to honor her legacy (specifically her NBC biopic) with a medley of her hits sung with rising country star-in-the-making Katy Perry. Yes, that Katy Perry. Would you believe us if we told you that wasn’t even the most head-scratching moment of the night? Let’s recap, shall we.
Bromance: Luke Bryan and Dierks Bentley technically hosted the show, but what’s country music if not a total sausage fest? Those two had the country equivalent of a threesome with Ultimate Bro Blake Shelton in the form of a group hug, natch.
Chris Stapleton: He was the man of the three hours (six awards!), and you’re damn right everyone’s jealous. All of Nashville spent the opening monologue humblebragging about how they made him famous way back when. But really, all that did was just prove that Stapleton’s been the genius behind Music Row for ages. You’re welcome.
Joey Feek: Last month, Joey Feek, of country husband-and-wife duo Joey + Rory, lost her battle with cervical cancer at the age of 40. Martina McBride and Darius Rucker honored her memory at the ACMs with a tribute that got a standing ovation. Tissues are necessary.
Dolly and Katy: “Jolene” and rump-shaking, what more could the world ever need?
Carrie Underwood: If Ridley Scott ever feels like making Gladiator 2, we have its star.
Thomas Rhett’s wife: She’ll die swooning.
Little Big Town and Trombone Shorty: Need we say more?
Nick Jonas’s guitar face: Over in L.A., Demi Lovato got a guitar assist from Brad Paisley at the iHeartRadio Awards. Not to be outdone, her BFF whipped out his, uh, skills to do the same for Kelsea Ballerini. Which makes us wonder: Can a woman get a guitar, too, or nah?
Blake Shelton’s air guitar: We rest our case.
Kacey Musgraves: If Taylor Swift’s awards-show hiatus is legit, we know someone who could fill her (former) Tony Lama’s.