Bravo, a successful and functioning television network from what we can see on the treadmill, is in the process of developing a bunch of new unscripted television series, and let us be the first to tell you that they are all ridiculous. Also, when are you free to grab a bottle of wine and just binge these suckers? First up, there’s Look Who’s Hosting Live, where “Andy Cohen turns the tables on celebrities who have envied his job and gives them the ultimate opportunity to host their own live late night talk show, for one night only.” The new hosts have to write monologues and pick their own sidekicks and guests, basically doing Cohen’s job for him. Andy, you’ve done it again!
Because nothing drives reality TV like that animalistic desire for more, more, more, more, Bravo is developing two competitions about what people will do for the love of stuff. In Stripped, contestants “agree to be stripped of everything they own including clothing, furniture and all their coveted possessions for 21 days to find out how their life will be affected.” I’d Kill for That, on the other hand, is a “game show that tests how far you would go to win a Birkin bag, Louboutins worn by a coveted Bravolebrity or the latest ‘it’ watch.” To be clear, Samantha Jones already lost the competition for a Birkin bag, and she blew it by yelling at Lucy Liu.
Bravo is also working up two realty shows, presumably because some intern forgot the “i” in reality. First, Employee of the Month, where Ryan Serhant, a realtor, teams up “with under-performing sales representatives that deal in anything from cars to seafood to caskets.” (The show gets pretty Breaking Bad when they start killing people to move caskets.) Second, Real Estate Wars, where two “rival real estate agencies in Orange County, California will go head to head in the ultimate competition for pride and prize to see who can sell the most property in six months,” a competition that sounds real fun if you’ve never heard of the subprime loan crisis.
Finally, we might be getting two other series, State of Affairs, about an infidelity expert, and Invitation Only, where “one person will invite a handful of their closest friends from different phases in their life to meet for the very first time and embark on an incredible getaway,” which is basically the plot of any destination wedding.