Allow DJ Khaled to Explain His Whole Deal to You

DJ Khaled. Photo: Nicholas Hunt/Getty Images

Well, this is just delightful: The New York Times magazine caught up with musician turned Snapchat life coach DJ Khaled for its "Talk" series, which means that the paper of record has now treated its readers to an explanation of just why everyone is suddenly talking about "keys" these days. For instance, did you know that there are an infinite number of keys? Says Khaled: "Sometimes when you get a key, it gets you another key, and gets you another key. One of my major keys is actually the master keys: God." Of course, not everyone wants you to find a key, which leads to this exchange about who "they" are, and what you should do if someone you love is becoming a "they":

You just mentioned "they," a recurring villain in a lot of your videos. Who are "they?"
They is the people that don’t believe in you, don’t support you.

What do you do when you encounter a "they"?
Sometimes you might meet somebody that you love that’s turning into a they. My key is invite them to Miami and take them to the ocean and let them jump off the boat in the ocean, on the sand bar, and cleanse off and pray and then go take a shower and hopefully the “they” is out of you.

Also, everyone knows that both cocoa butter and pillows are keys to success, but which of them is more key? "Cocoa butter," says Khaled. "I put cocoa butter all over my face and my iconic belly and my arms and legs. Why live rough? Live smooth." His iconic belly! If the only thing Snapchat gave us was DJ Khaled turning into an A-lister, that would be enough.