Jimmy Kimmel had a big guest last night. Huge! And we're not just talking about the hairpiece. Donald Trump stopped by to talk about everything from his willingness to debate Bernie Sanders (he thinks he could win) and his past support of Hillary Clinton. To that, Trump said, "I speak well of everybody. If people ask me about politicians, I speak well ... including contributions. They ask me for contributions, I give contributions." Kimmel replied, "so you were full of shit when you said that?" referencing a 2008 line Trump said in support of Clinton. "A little bit, maybe," he responded. Let's take a look at the other pearls of wisdom Trump dropped on the show.
Do you want a lesson on how Donald Trump comes up with his nicknames? You're not getting it! Trump keeps the secret to that sauce very close to his chest. Instead, Trump talks about how proud he is of his nicknames.
Trump also discussed recent debates over laws that would prevent transgender people from using public bathrooms that don't match the gender they were assigned at birth. There, he merely restated the Republican party line and insisted it would be up to the states to decide.
Trump talked potential running mates, and Kimmel suggested that he choose his running mate Celebrity Apprentice-style.
Trump, apparently incapable of recognizing his own voice, also denied that he once posed as his own spokesman.
Trump dropped some hints about his celebrity endorsements, and promised that there are some "very big" and "very liberal" people in California who would vote for him. Though, to be clear, he does not have Aaron Carter's vote anymore.
Kimmel closed by reading a Dr. Seuss-style book about Donald Trump. It rhymes! What a time Mr. Trump has had. With all this good humor, it couldn't be bad. Kimmel, he knows what material works for his show, though many of us are still saying no no no no.