Ryan Murphy's great, glorious, gay anthology series Feud was just announced, and already, it's given us a meme on par with everyone's attempts to cast True Detective season two. The first season of the show stars Jessica Lange as Joan Crawford and Susan Sarandon as Bette Davis, but greedy beings that we are, we'd all like a hand in its future. Thus, on the fifth day of the fifth month of 2016, #feudseason2 was born.
First off, there are the classics, your feud bread and butter, the J. Lo vs. Mariah Careys, the Angelina vs. Jennifers:
(The ideal version of this project mimics Clouds of Sils Maria and has Archie Panjabi play Julianna Margulies.)
Then, there are the more recent headlines:
(If you were wondering.)
There's a few deep cuts:
(Here's a hint.)
(And another hint.)
At least three seasons of "Feud" should be about David O. Russell terrorizing his casts.— Jordan Veilleux (@veilleuxwho) May 5, 2016
Oh actually, the #Feud I'd love to see is Conan vs. Jay, that would be a great one— Justin Kroll (@krolljvar) May 5, 2016
Some purely fictional options:
A quick poll of the Vulture offices has also brought up the following suggestions: Chloë Grace Moretz/Kim Kardashian, Nic Pizzolatto/Cary Fukunaga, Charlize Theron/Tobey Maguire, Kanye/Taylor Swift/the Earth in general, Kermit/Miss Piggy, Ariana Grande/America's obesity epidemic, William F. Buckley/Gore Vidal, and Jennifer Lawrence/gravity.
Ryan, we have more ideas. Please give us a call.