Gina Rodriguez and Wilmer Valderrama are two gosh-darn likable people, so it’s a shame that only one of them can be declared the winner. But we live in America: There can only be one! Spoiler alert: It’s Gina. It’s always been Gina! She has a worthy opponent in the former That ‘70s Show star, who would likely have wiped out the competition on any other night, but Gina Rodriguez is special. She didn’t steal America’s hearts for nothing. Let’s roll the tapes:
Battle 1: Gina Rodriguez’s “A Milli” vs. Wilmer Valderrama’s “Livin’ La Vida Loca”
First, let’s talk about Wilmer Valderrama’s lip sync of “Livin’ La Vida Loca.” It’s a great! With his shirt halfway unbuttoned (we wouldn’t have been mad if he had just gone all the way), he really takes you back to the days when Ricky Martin was relevant. Against a different opponent, this would have been enough, but he followed Gina Rodriguez doing Lil’ Wayne. She simply transforms. And it’s not because of the wig-hat or the fake grill, but the fact that she knows every word, every beat, sneer, and sigh. It’s a shame the full performance isn’t up, because it’s one of the best performances on the show.
Winner: Gina Rodriguez, by a mic drop.
Battle 2: Wilmer Valderrama’s “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)” vs. Gina Rodriguez’s “Free Your Mind”
Thematically, Wilmer’s performance makes no sense. All of his backup dancers look like they escaped from a local Renaissance faire, and he comes in wearing a Phantom of the Opera mask. But again! Wilmer is no slouch. He does his fair share of choreography. He picked a great song baked with the right amount of nostalgia. But even during his performance, the camera can’t stop looking at Gina. She’s funny and endearing and just steals the show. When it’s her turn, she drags it up and fully embraces the diva inside of her, side-eye and all.
Winner: Gina Rodriguez, by a high ponytail.
Overall: Sorry Fez, but you’re up against Jane the Destroyer. (Also, if you’re not watching Jane the Virgin, shame on you. Shame!)