The Mindy Project
Mindy and Marcus are dating! This news is particularly great because he knows the “best” version of everything in New York. He’s like a human version of New York’s Best of New York issue.
“The Greatest Date in the World” has a bit of a Seinfeld or Sex and the City bent to it: There are totally people like Marcus in New York, and they’re all fun and games until you’re constantly getting dragged to the “best” everything. Thanks to Marcus, Mindy experiences the best Chinese food, best vodka, best interactive theater, and the worst closing-the-deal line: “I know a guy for the best sex in New York.” I sorta knew that was coming, but I thought maybe he’d use it for a kiss. Sex feels like one step too far for this shtick.
It’s also Jody’s birthday, which is a nice opportunity for The Mindy Project to remind us that Jody is now Mindy’s destiny. And in B-plot news, the nurses are feeling disgruntled because all three of them are crammed into a tiny space while Danny’s old office remains vacant. “I like the way the place is now,” Jody chimes in. “There’s a fun upstairs/downstairs vibe.” (Or an A-plot/B-plot vibe?) Nonetheless, Jeremy decides to give them Danny’s old office as a “nurses’ lounge.”
Strangely enough, Mindy sees an actual patient in this episode. Eden is a longtime patient who has decided she might want to have a baby on her own, rather than keep waiting for Mr. Right. “Would I be interested in getting a fellow bangable-hot fashionista pregnant?” Mindy asks, then hits her phone for the answer. But all she gets is a notification ding. She explains that it was supposed to play “Sisters Are Doin’ It for Themselves,” but instead she accidentally signed up to be an Uber driver. Two things: (1) I would really like to have Dr. Lahiri as my gynecologist, and (2) I would really like to have Dr. Lahiri as my Uber driver.
In need of a consult, Mindy brings in her sperm guy, Lewis. He’s awesome. He harangues Jody for not giving him sperm. He says things like, “I’m not like other spermers who sell you a marathon runner and then you find out it was Chicago, a notoriously easy and flat marathon.” I love this guy. Maybe the show should just be about Mindy and him hanging out? (Mindy and the Spermer? Okay, it’s a work-in-progress.)
But Marcus and Mindy are continuing to hang out, which seems to be exhausting. “That was a really interesting dinner,” Mindy says of their latest excursion. “I did not know that Transylvania had a cuisine.” After they finish their charred crow, Marcus offers to take her to his “best book guy” so she can get a present for Jody. And so, they fake-CitiBike their way to some dark street in what I assume is an outer borough, and of course the guy does not have Lonesome Dove.
At the office the next day, Eden tells Mindy she’s decided to get pregnant with her deadbeat non-boyfriend’s sperm. (They are “beyond labels.”) “That is the worst idea I’ve ever heard,” Mindy says, “and I played saxophone in high school to get guys.” She continues: “Trying to trap a guy never works. If it did, Joey McIntyre would be in my parents’ basement.” Donor Jonah is, indeed, a textbook douchebag. But I’m confused: If she wanted to be impregnated by her actual sex partner, wouldn’t the first step be to just stop taking birth control, and thus not involve her overprotective gynecologist? Anyway, Mindy does a house call to pick up his sperm sample — is this a service widely available? — and asks Jonah why he agreed to father the child. “I was like, ‘A baby? I’m only 39,’” he says. “Then I thought about it and I was like, ‘I’ve done way weirder stuff than that.’” Nevertheless, she tries to scare him away with talk of parental responsibilities and college savings.
In B-plot land, Jeremy discovers that the nurses have hung a poster in their lounge, which features a cartoon about two cows complaining at the watercooler about their job. (At the farm, I guess?) This upsets Jeremy so much that he takes the nurses to dinner to address their complaints about the workplace. They demand Fridays off, paid lunches, interns, and a popcorn machine. He agrees to all of these demands, only to find they have more demands. Popcorn has become “like a work food,” so they’re over it. Now they want a snow-cone machine! And the damn cow poster is still up! In frustration, Jeremy puts up an “I hate nurses!” sign, but Jody finally steps in to calm everyone down. Jeremy needs to take his poster down because he is the boss. The nurses get to complain because that is every employee’s God-given right. All is calm. Yay, Jody!
Speaking of Jody, here’s some news he’ll like: Mindy’s exhausted from all her sperm-donor shaming and doesn’t feel like going with Marcus to see Donald Glover read his space opera. She just wants a night in. She’s feeling like she doesn’t know anything about Marcus’s personality, so maybe they could just get to know each other in a quiet setting. He, of course, insists he has the best personality: “I followed BuzzFeed’s 10 Simple Steps to Having a Good Personality!” Turns out that didn’t quite work; they break up almost immediately afterward. And here I thought we were revving up for a multi-episode love triangle after all the buildup with Casey last week! Alas, no dice.
At least we get more action toward a Mindy-Jody coupling. Jonah still agreed to be the donor even after Mindy “negged his sperm,” but Eden is angry about Mindy’s interference and asks Jody to take over her case. And Jody takes Eden’s side. “Just because you messed up your life doesn’t mean she will,” he tells Mindy.
But don’t worry! Jody comes to Mindy’s place that night to apologize, and they spend the night together watching a movie — just like she’d tried to do with Marcus. She even got him Lonesome Dove from a regular old Barnes & Noble, not the best bookstore in New York. (It was in the “Grandpa’s Casket Stuffers” section.) She falls asleep on the couch, and he caresses her before quietly leaving. Naturally, her eyes fly open right after he’s gone. Yes, she knows!