Of late, we’ve all spent a lot of time feeling concerned about Ben Affleck’s ennui. Well, that was a big ol’ waste of time, because apparently all we needed to do to get Affleck’s fire roaring again was whisper one simple made-up word in his ear: Deflategate. Affleck appeared on Wednesday’s debut of Bill Simmons’s Any Given Wednesday, and when Simmons brought up the Tom Brady scandal, well, there’s no diplomatic way to say it: Ben Affleck lost his shit. He opened with: “Deflategate is the ultimate bullshit fucking outrage of sports ever,” and the rest of the segment devolved (or escalated, if you are counting by sputtering fury) from there. Indeed, somewhere between defending the “so fucking classy … such a fucking gentleman” Brady and calling out the “fucking ridiculous smear campaign” spearheaded by “a conspiracy of people working within the NFL,” Affleck may have actually lost consciousness, floated out of his body, and watched from up above as the rope slipped from reach. Basically, he was your typical Boston sports fan. Ben, my man, take a breath.
