Mindy spent her weekend doing “that Japanese de-cluttering thing where you hold something and if it doesn’t bring you joy you throw it out.” Psych! She was actually at Princeton having lots of sex with Stan from Mad Men. I didn’t address this when she met him in last week’s episode because I wasn’t sure we would see more of him, but let’s take a minute to deal with it now. Stan is cheating on Peggy! Time travel is no excuse for infidelity!
Okay, fine, Jay R. Ferguson is just an actor and these are just made-up stories and actually his name is Drew on The Mindy Project and now I’m forced to confront the fact that Mad Men was not real and Don Draper didn’t actually imagine that Coke commercial while meditating. Or does Mindy know something we don’t? After all, her relationship with “Drew” is a secret. She claims she doesn’t want to tell her co-workers, friends, and ostensible future love interest Jody until she’s sure it’s “real.” See? Connect the dots, people! Stan is real!
Anyway, Jeremy’s meeting graphic with “15%” next to a big downward pointing arrow does not, in fact, mean that 15 percent of the practice’s employees are going to hell, as Beverly guessed. (“Sounds low.”) It means that the practice’s patient levels are down 15 percent since Danny left. Their new strategy? A giant up arrow! Or the equally effective idea to totally dominate the upcoming hospital softball tournament.
Mindy says she can’t participate because of Leo, whom we haven’t seen in weeks. This baby-less trend continues, because it turns out Danny has him for the weekend, which opens it up for Mindy to be with Stan — er, Drew. He says he’ll come to New York, which obviously poses a problem since Mindy’s been keeping him a secret.
On the other side of this love square, Jody has invited Colette to join him and sneezy Courtney for dinner at “Momofuku’s new hamburger concept,” Hambagu. At this mere mention, Tamra makes a bad Paul McCartney vegetarian joke. (He likes it so much he wants to eat there “eight days a week!” Tamra’s joke game is unusually off this week.) Colette reluctantly agrees to join this meal of $16 hamburgers with her brother and his new girlfriend, but she still can’t bring herself to like Courtney. Not even when Courtney invites her to tag along on her family’s Fourth of July cruise to the Galapagos Islands, where, Jody explains, “Charles Darwin indulged his fanciful notions.”
Colette’s simmering irritation comes to a head at the softball game. She is so annoyed by Courtney’s continued laughing — it’s almost as annoying as her sneezes — that she throws one of her pitches right at her face. (Poor Courtney. Jody was telling her “the part of an E-Trade commercial I found very amusing.” Those really are hard to resist. I mean, retirement puns!) The problem, besides Courtney getting hit in the face with a ball, is that the team needs three women to qualify for the tournament. (Equality is … real?) Morgan can take over the pitching, but they need Mindy in order to keep playing.
Despite her plans with Drew, Mindy agrees after Morgan promises it will only take a half-hour to finish the game. Alas, Morgan is such a bad pitcher that the opposing team of dermatologists hits five home runs, stretching just one inning for much longer than it should be. Luck seems to strike when the dermatologists forfeit due to sun exposure. “This isn’t safe,” they say. “Sunscreen’s a lie.” Mindy’s ready to leave, but her teammates beg her to stay for the next round against the orthopedics. After all, Jeremy says, “I just need one piece of good news for my Christmas letter to Father!”
Mindy leaves anyway, but then she hears a bunch of the orthopedics talking shit about Shulman’s demise after Danny left. She’s determined to prove her practice’s worth, so she marches back and demands her co-workers/teammates “get in a sports circle with your butts sticking out.” (It’s called a huddle, Mindy.)
Meanwhile, Drew sadly works his way through a frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity all by himself, getting side-eye from a bunch of tweens who want his table. So, he decides to surprise Mindy at the hospital … which is where he thinks she is because she pretended to be ditch him for work … because she was afraid he’d come to the game and then her co-workers would know about it. He adorably brings her a bear claw, but, of course, he quickly finds that she’s not at the hospital. He also runs into Jody and Courtney, who has just been told, “In a couple of years you’ll be able to smell again.” They tell him that Mindy is actually playing softball in Central Park.
When Mindy sees Drew, she apologizes and offers up a joke only slightly less lame than Tamra’s McCartney line: “My body’s like Field of Dreams. If you touch it, it will come.” She adds, “Did you think that was cool?” Drew correctly says, “No.” He must really like her, because even after that joke, everything ends up sweet between them. Mindy has a realization: “You are a sports coach. And we are sporting!” Drew helps the team look cool during a montage to “Tricky” … and he also helps them win. Mindy makes the winning catch! (And also breaks her ankle!) Perhaps I can accept Stan without Peggy after all.