Prince Will Receive a Doctorate From University of Minnesota to Honor His Dedication to Never Meaning to Cause You Any Pain

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Photo: Chris Graythen/Getty Images

Whether you keep parking your car sideways, get thoughts in your eyes every time you comb your hair, or have a lungful of purple rain from all that laughing you do, there is only one doctor who could cure what ails you. University of Minnesota voted Friday to bestow an honorary doctorate from the school’s College of Liberal Arts on the late singer, who did not attend college during his lifetime. The university’s Board of Regents will award a Doctor of Humane Letters degree to Prince’s surviving family members later this year, in order to honor his "transcendent talent as a singer, songwriter and multi-instrumentalist, but also to highlight his remarkable contributions off stage: fostering musical talent, and supporting the local music industry, as well as his influence in the realms of gender identity, fashion and socio-political activism." Dr. Prince also might be the only person who can get you to stop masturbating with a magazine in hotel lobbies. What’s up with you doing that all the time?