Stephen Colbert Thinks Led Zeppelin Is ‘Screwed’ in Their Plagiarism Suit, and If Colbert Thinks It, It’s Probably True

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This week marked the opening of Led Zeppelin's copyright-infringement trial, in which Jimmy Page is accused of stealing the opening riff of "Stairway to Heaven" from "Taurus," a song by Zep contemporaries Spirit. On his show Thursday night, dad-rock superfan Stephen Colbert played snippets of the two songs — each of which feature, in the words of the judge, "a descending chromatic four-chord progression" — and concluded that the Rock and Roll Hall of Famers are well and truly "screwed." The only thing left to do? "Take all your money and hide it in Panama!" Questionable legal advice aside, the segment also features Colbert's Tin Pan Alley version of "Stairway to Heaven" for no reason whatsoever. Talk about a bustle in the hedgerow!