On Thursday night, a woman garnered the presidential nomination of a major political party for the first time in American history. Hold your harpsichord, though, because here via satellite all the way from 1776, the ladies of Ye Olde Broad City (bearing an ancestral resemblance to Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer) have a bone to pick with 2016: What took so dang long? The tables get turned right good, though, when Stephen Colbert challenges the Second Continental Congress delegates to rethink the wisdom of expecting people to generalize that whole “All men are created equal” clause. After all, this isn’t your first time reading The Great Gatsby in freshman lit — get that textual ambiguity the heck outta town! Jacobson and Glazer also appeared in their modern guises to talk to Colbert and historian Doris Kearns Goodwin about the meaning Hillary Clinton’s nomination has for them. Ah, 1776. If only women had been able to tell a few more Johns to sit down, oh, where we might be.