Today, T Magazine published a collection of emails between Jonathan Safran Foer and Natalie Portman. The two have been corresponding for over a decade, and we get only a glimpse of their most recent correspondence — in wistful conversations about Moscow, Judaism, and how Thursday is garbage day. Foer has a line about how his kids play a game where they have to say things that cross “The Wonder Line,” which may make you cock your head and mutter “hmm …” These emails made us do that several times over.
But of course, we at Vulture long for more. Miranda July’s email project a few years ago was a start, but we want to peer into the souls of other celebrities, to peruse their thoughts on guinea pigs. This is entirely voluntary, of course; we do not advocate any breach of a celebrity’s privacy. But if you are a famous person and would like to contribute, you know where to find us. To start things off, we have 50 suggestions below.
The emails between Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio.
The emails between Tobey Maguire and Leonardo DiCaprio.
The emails between Sofia Coppola and Spike Jonze (circa the making of Lost in Translation).
The emails between Sofia Coppola and Spike Jonze (after the release of Her).
The emails between Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally.
The texts between Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.
The emails between Chris Pratt and Anna Faris.
The emails between Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux.
The Snapchats of Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Schumer.
The messages Brie Larson and Shailene Woodley carve for each other in an oak that lies at the edge of the forest.
The glances between Rooney Mara and Cate Blanchett (oh, wait, that was Carol, never mind).
The telepathic communication of the Mara sisters (if that can be rendered in text).
The HAHAHAs of Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill.
The “yeah, bro”s of Zac Efron and Seth Rogen.
The formal, businesslike correspondence between Terrence Howard and Taraji P. Henson.
The sealed letters Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen send each other.
More of this email exchange between an actor on Fantastic Four and Josh Trank.
The emails between Carrie Fisher and any member of the Star Wars cast, but especially Daisy Ridley.
The wine-drunk texts of Matthew Goode and Matthew Rhys.
The emails of Shonda Rhimes and Kerry Washington, also Ellen Pompeo, also Viola Davis.
The emails between Nicole Kidman and Katie Holmes re: Him.
The emails between Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal re: her scarf.
The emails between Ben Affleck and Matt Damon.
The emails between Scott Speedman and Scott Foley.
The emails between Steven Speilberg and J.J. Abrams.
The emails between Jared Leto and Olivia de Havilland.
The emails between Colin Farrell and Elizabeth Taylor.
The emails between Bryan Fuller and Gillian Anderson (he just seems so enthusiastic!).
The emails between Ryan Murphy and Jessica Lange re: Hey, crazy idea.
The women of SNL’s group text.
The emails planning Blake Lively, Amber Tamblyn, America Ferrera, and Alexis Bledel’s Traveling Pants reunions.
Any communication that includes Emma Thompson, Kenneth Branagh, and Helena Bonham Carter.
The bimonthly newsletter we assume Emma Watson sends Rupert Grint and Daniel Radcliffe.
The group text between the Jonas brothers (would be more interesting if they were circa today).
The forced emoji use of the Scream Queens cast group message.
The emails of the Pussy Posse.
The group text of the Ghostbusters cast.
Any group messages involving Oprah (maybe to The Color Purple cast?). It would just bring us joy.
Any group messages from Kyle Chandler to the rest of the cast of Friday Night Lights (same reason as above).
Any group message from Jennifer Aniston to the Friends cast re: brunch???
Other internet ephemera
The DMs Taylor Swift. (She seems nice!)
The Instagram DMs to Selena Gomez that Justin Bieber has drafted and deleted.
This recording of Taylor Swift Kanye claims to have.
The video-game reviews of Brie Larson.
Frank Ocean’s notes on his album (also, Frank Ocean’s album).
The list of Pokémon caught by Chrissy Teigen.
Charlize Theron’s emails during salary negotiations.
Probably doesn’t exist, but hey, we still want to read it
The emails of Beyoncé and Jay Z (specifically the day of the release of Lemonade).
The texts between Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift.
An email in which Kirsten Dunst gives advice.
Any form of communication between Archie Punjabi and Julianna Margulies.