According to Cheryl Hines, having an emu is like having a tiny, annoying dinosaur who interrupts your phone calls and conspires with your dog to barge into your sunroom. The logical question (besides “Why would you ever buy an emu, Cheryl Hines?” and “Did your husband not Google, ‘How big do emus grow,’ Cheryl Hines?’”) is, of course, “When can you expect your emu to die, Cheryl Hines?” Most of us are too prim and proper to just blurt that out to Cheryl Hines’s face, but James Corden is not. Go ahead and look up the life expectancy of emus. That emu will watch you die, Cheryl Hines. Let’s not even get into the tortoises.