Stephen Colbert and Sturgill Simpson Wrote a Waffle House Anthem Worthy of Breakfast Kings


Lest you forget Stephen Colbert is a true South Carolinian, the late-night host tapped country star Sturgill Simpson to help him pen a song about America’s greatest culinary cathedral: Waffle House. And what better place to debut this anthem, “No Shoes, No Shirts, No Knuckleheads,” than on a jukebox at the real Charleston-area Waffle House where Colbert spent his “young drunkenness"? Colbert and Simpson traveled South to the restaurant, where they find all the usual suspects: hashbrown maidens, guys named Kevin who live to party, and four youths who look like “extras from Dazed and Confused.” As the music plays, people dance, Colbert plays waffle hacky sack, Simpson builds a mansion out of waffles, and the sweet joy of maple syrup saps over the diner and the nation. Colberts says, “I can honestly say, if my family isn’t watching, that this is the greatest thing that ever happened to me.” We understand, Stephen.