J. Lo Miraculously Finds Time to Play Drug Lord Griseldo Blanco for HBO

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More like Shades of White. Photo: Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images

Don't be fooled by rocks that she's got, that's all, that's all cocaine. Jennifer Lopez has somehow found the time to star in an HBO film about Griselda Blanco, a.k.a. La Madrina, the "godmother of cocaine," who oversaw the Medellin cartel in the 1970s and early '80s. No other casting or plot details have been announced, but honestly, all we need is J. Lo in some dazzling '70s outfits with a Mount Everest of cocaine behind her, and an actor in the male equivalent of Michelle Pfeiffer's Scarface dress, or maybe just in the dress. Either way.