U.S. Olympians Attempt to Sing ‘We Are the Champions’ With Their Puny, Underdeveloped Vocal Cords

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Olympians' bodies are statues made of fire and sinew, carved with the chainsaw of pure determination, but apparently their singing tubes and sound flaps could really use a workout. A cadre of America’s finest attempted to sing Queen’s “We Are The Champions” for W and, well, there’s a reason Freddie Mercury never took the silver in the men’s 4x100 freestyle relay. Meanwhile, your body is like an overstuffed bag of hot oatmeal with strings in it, but your dulcet a cappella harmonies could win, uh, whatever the a cappella equivalent of a gold medal would be. Not having the soccer team whip pennies at you during the assembly, maybe?