Just as Western art has cultivated an “eye” for the female nude, it is now time for us to fine-tune our gaze to the male celebrity nude. Penises of famous men of many shapes and sizes are just a click away on the internet! Seth Rogen, for one, makes no bones about the fact when he hears there’s a famous penis online, he is going to look at it. (Same.) So when photos leaked of Orlando Bloom paddleboarding in the nude with Katy Perry, you bet your bottom Rogen was on top of it. This led Andy Cohen to ask the inevitable question: Who has the better penis — Orlando Bloom or Justin Bieber? You realize that Rogen is a true connoisseur of the dick pic when he says, “Orlando’s probably a bigger guy, and proportionally his penis still looked to scale. Which makes me think overall it’s bigger.” There you have it: Watch What Happens Live has become a literal dick-measuring contest.
