Ben Schwartz and Joe Keery Shrug Off Steve and Jean-Ralphio Paternity Theories — in Exactly Identical Ways, Hm

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*Cut to a deeply conflicted Henry Winkler* After weeks of persistent theories about how Stranger Things' Steve Harrington (Joe Keery) is the true biological father of Jean-Ralphio Saperstein (Ben Schwartz) from Parks and Recreation, Keery and Schwartz sat down with Entertainment Tonight's Nischelle Turner (on The Late Late Show) to set the record straight. Now, you can put your popcorn down, because this ain't no episode of Maury, according to the duo at least. Nope, no paternity revelations here, as there is absolutely no relation between the character played by Keery and the character played by Schwartz, Keery and Schwartz said at the exact same time in the exact same way while wearing the exact same outfits. See, none at all. And so the case of the similarly arched eyebrows is closed.