In a world of vaginal steaming, vampire facials, and pedicures administered by skin-eating fish, would it really be so difficult to coax someone into a tank filled with therapy eels? Based on the latest trailer for The Ring director Gore Verbinski’s A Cure for Wellness, the answer is a firm “Ew, what? Eels? And I have to drink them, too?” Dane DeHaan stars in the upcoming horror flick as a young go-getter dispatched to a mysterious wellness center where he “finds himself diagnosed with the same curious illness that keeps all the guests here longing for the cure.” Honestly, someone should check on Gwyneth. She’s probably trying to book a spa weekend there with Mario Batali as we speak.
Mia Goth, whose skin looks just fantastic thanks to all those eels she bathes with/is maybe becoming, and Jason Isaacs co-star in the psychological thriller, which premieres February 17.